Sunday, 18 June 2023

The Stones Of Blood: Ranking - 154

    The Stones Of Blood

(Season 16, Dr 4 with Romana I, 28/10/1978-18/11/1978, producer: Graham Williams, script editor: Anthony Read, writer: David Fisher, director: Darrol Blake)

Rank: 154

'I know you've been watching a lot of news reports about invasions of aliens so I thought I would get you away from the television and out here camping in a field far away from anything. What? No those aren't Zarbi, they're just normal ants. That sound in the sky? It's not a Slitheen spaceship, it's a plane. The spider in your sleeping bag? That doesn't have enough eyes to be the Racnoss it's just a spider. No come on now, don't be silly, that can't be a werewolf howling - they only seem to be in Scotland for some reason. Honest, there's nothing here in this field except us. some bugs and some ancient standing stones that have been here for centuries...Wait...Aagh!...'






 


 

More antics with the ‘key to time’ as the Doctor investigates ‘The Stones of Blood’. Which sounds like a medical procedure, but don’t worry it isn’t. Instead it’s one of those witchy stories full of supernatural gothic horror and all the things Graham Williams was under strict instructions not to do by a BBC nervous of Mary Whitehouse. Yet it’s a bit different to the Hinchcliffe blood ‘n’ gore era and the title’s actually a joke: there’s no blood on screen...because the standing stones drink it all stone dry! Yes, they find human plasma a tasty treat but don’t like leaving a mess so this story has about the most composed de-composed chewed up bodies you’ll ever see as the Ogri don’t like leaving a drop. Wait, did I say standing stones? I meant...walking stones of course. Only Dr Who would come up with a horror story about blood that doesn’t show blood and standing stones that walk. But then, Dr Who can do anything in this period when it’s still pretty much at the cusp of its popularity and brimming with confidence that this show has an audience that will just go with everything (well, maybe not fifty mile squids as it turns out but that’s a problem for a future story). It really is amazingly popular given that the show has been running for fifteen years now: that’s twelve longer than the original Star Trek and longer than the runs of ‘Next Generation’ and ‘Deep Space Nine’ combined. This is, as it happens, the show’s 100th story and originally came with a ‘birthday party’ celebrating the fact before producer Graham Williams worried it was a self-indulgence too far (yes we’re on 335 now, give or take the whole Trial Of A Timelord/Capaldi 3 parters/Matt Smith 5 parter debate so a hundred doesn’t seem so impressive, but very few series ever got this far back in 1978). Even without the cut scene everyone is in a party mood and there was a fun atmosphere on set with none of the problems that hit practically every other story of this vintage. Shock horror, this might be the only colour story of the ‘classic’ era that wrapped early for both the studio and location shooting (it’s witchcraft I tell you!)


The problem is, though, that this show has been running so long that nobody seems to quite know what it is anymore. Writer David Fisher makes his debut here and he’s been trying to be a part of one of his favourite shows since he first became a writer, sending in a sort-of first version of this story to David Whittaker at the end of Dr Who’s first year (it was about children discovering a spaceship under Stonehenge; CBBC’s excellent ‘Silverpoint’, the best new drama in years children’s or adult’s, shows how good it could have been – especially in Who’s first year with all the extra layers of mystery and unpredictability). When an old friend Anthony Read got the script editor’s job he got in contact (they’d worked together on the series ‘This Man Craig’, which was basically a Scottish version of ‘Please Sir!’) Read was only too happy to have a writer he trusted and, what’s more, liked the idea of standing stones coming to life (he’d done his national service in a camp where his office overlooked Stonehenge). However Fisher still knew the series best from the days of the 1960s when it was weird and spooky, while being enough of a fan to know that things have moved on to frightening and spooky under Phillip Hinchcliffe. He wasn’t to know that new producer Graham Williams has been ordered by the BBC to tone the horror down to stop Mary Whitehouse having nightmares. So ‘The Stones Of Blood’ ends up being one of those stories that keeps shifting by degrees. There are scenes when it’s (fittingly) blood-curdling, perhaps the last time Dr Who is properly behind-the-sofa scary until either ‘The Curse Of Fenric’ (with more bloodsuckers) or ‘The Empty Child’ depending on your disposition and/or fear of gas masks. There are other scenes that are laugh-out-loud comedy, as Romana shows up her ignorance of ‘The Doctor’s favourite planet’ Earth and the timelords banter with a delightfully dotty professor and get a bit lost. Part of it is pure ‘Wicker Man’ horror, with a village full of strangers and druids and people acting weird that taps into very English pagan primal fears (with scenes that alternate between being as thoughtful and erudite as the best of ‘The Daemons’ and other parts as clumsy as ‘K9 and Company’). There are others that are pure science-fiction, with a lady who turns out to be a silver alien with a square-shaped spaceship parked in hyperspace (some of the science is smart and some of it is dumb). Episode three is pure courtroom drama (most fans’ least favourite episode of the serial, it’s so static it makes you wonder how people sit through whole seasons of this stuff. See ‘Trial Of A Timelord’). Sometimes it’s a high stakes action drama, at others a convoluted scifi plot, at other times a character piece. This is a story of twists and turns where you can never guess what’s coming next – which would normally be a good thing, except that each of these twists and turns somehow ends up being more feeble than the next. Even the dialogue varies from moments of real wit and brilliance to being crass (the exposition about the Black and White Guardians an the key to time – inserted so that they could repeat this as a standalone story if need be, though they never did – is particularly poor, Romana literally saying ‘yes I know’ to most of The Doctor’s points. Because she was there and knows as much as he does). It feels like everyone of those other ninety-nine first Dr Who stories stuck in a blender and yet still manages to come out as something we’ve never had before, becoming a story about a friendship (some might even say ‘relationship’) between two spinsters.


It all centres around those stones though, which despite myths and legends of being the home of witches, a fairy-ring to another world or living beings who have been petrified (there’s even a legend that you can hear the heartbeat of one still beating after thousands of years) because this is Dr Who turn out to not only be alive but be a gateway to hyperspace and a hiding place for an alien criminal mastermind. Standing stones that move are totally the sort of thing Dr Who should be doing. Something ancient that can’t be explained and are somehow very English (a few other countries have them too, but not as many and not as big) they’re perfect as a subject to be ‘explained’ the ‘Dr Who way’ and it’s amazing they hadn’t been used in the series before this. That might be because nobody expected they would ever get permission to go to the real thing but, while Stonehenge is the most famous and fiercely guarded (though they let Dr Who have one hurried bit of filming there for ‘The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang’ thirty odd years later) it’s not the only set of Stones in England. Though the story is set in Cornwall with hints that this is the Boscawen-Un stone circle (which has a real legend about witchcraft that casts a spell over people so they can’t count the amount of stones accurately and get a different number each time), ‘The Stones Of Blood’ was filmed at the Rollright Stones site in Oxfordshire, three miles North of Chipping Norton, are the perfect alternative, suggested by director Darrol Blake who’d visited them on holiday. Unlike Stonehenge which was a bureaucratic nightmare, they belonged to private hands who were only too happy to let the production team on site for a fee (and who made money from the sort of school parties who watched the show anyway: indeed one coachload arrived during filming and were given the job of counting the stones, getting into trouble with their teacher who hadn’t realised ‘fake’ polystyrene ones had been added by the Dr Who crew in the night!) Dating back to the Bronze Age, roughly 2500 BC, they’re an impressive sight, full of mystery and wonder without the need to anything and with a very Dr Who sounding myth of their own, that they were an army turned to stone for attacking a witch. It’s a site reasonably close to TV centre, had a quarry only a couple of miles away for the first episode cliffhanger scenes of Romana being lured to her doom and the people there were so excited to have Dr Who in town they even closed off the A34 that ran past it to keep the traffic noises to a minimum. We don’t just get a couple of establishing shots of them either: we’re right in the thick of the action, with an atmospheric night shoot that makes this one of Who’s spookiest stories. Even the fake ones are impressive, clearly lightweight compared to the real thing but which still look good when standing still and with a light inside the three props so that they glow (a subtle effect, but a very atmospheric one in the dark). It’s a measure of how mixed this story is, though, that it then calls on them to move – and with all the love in the world, a bunch of polystyrene menhirs being pulled on a trolley isn’t going to scare anyone (the original plan was that they morphed into Humans when they needed to move but, in another summary of those ninety-nine earlier stories, they ran out of budget). The ‘De Vries’ mansion is another lovely bit of location filming, looking like a posh stately home of the sort Mick Jagger would own (see ‘Image Of the Fendahl/Seeds Of Doom’) even though it’s actually a business studies training college. Legend has it a number of drunken students, on finding the Tardis prop outside, decided to be ‘helpful’ and move it to the nearest quarry two miles away figuring that’s where it was meant to be (actually they’d filmed those bits already!)  


The cast, too, start off really interesting and then somehow descend into the usual Who stereotypes. The rather wacky Human Vivien starts off being reserved and cynical, a believable recluse of the sort that we don’t often have in Who. But there are so many pointers towards her being an alien who knows more than she’s letting on that the audience gets to the punchline too early (I mean, ET is less alien than she is in human form by episode two). She has an interesting background as a criminal who’s been in hiding on Earth for 4000 years but we never fully find out why; her biggest crime seems to be locking up the Megara, the balls of light who are pedantic policemen and lawyers, a bit like the Judoon without the bodies, but they must have had a reason for pursuing her. There are hints that she’s working for The Black Guardian, given that she holds the third part of the key to time close to her chest (quite literally: it’s the Seal of Diplos pendant she keeps round her neck) and acts as if she knows someone might be coming for it one day, while The Doctor gets a cryptic message from The White Guardian telling him to ‘beware’ (given that this scene got cut down to a single line they didn’t bother hiring Cyril Luckham again but instead got Gerald Cross, one of the ‘justice machines’, to read in for him). However the script doesn’t lean in to that to make her a threat and after two episodes of stern looks and cynical asides the script decides to paint her silver and stick her in space. Her back story also makes less sense the longer the story goes on: she’s not hidden herself very well (there are those whacking great stones after all – and are all ancient monuments on Earth guarding rogue criminals? In which case I dread to think what alien is behind the pyramids. Assuming that it wasn’t an earlier infestation of The Monks from ‘The Pyramid At The End Of The World’). It also seems ridiculous that someone can live for that many years without growing older and yet nobody ever seems to notice (at least when they try this again in ‘Shada’ Professor Chronitis is hiding in a Cambridge college with students passing through and other lecturers who are all close to dying themselves). It’s a great and very fun ideas, but somehow it’s not fully thought through. Stone me!


Similar happens to Professor Rumford. Beatrix Lehman is one of the biggest name actresses to ever appear in Dr Who and she did it not for the usual big star reasons (cash flow problems caused by the taxman or because their children loved the show) but because she was potty about dogs and really wanted to meet K9 (Fisher does indeed give them many scenes together). She starts off being wonderfully dotty, opening up to The Doctor and Romana straight away as if they’re old friends and reacting to everything extraordinary that happens as if it’s another ordinary day (the reverse of what we usually get in Who). There’s even a Russell T Davies level of characterisation as she’s described off-screen in a way that sets up her entire character: Vivian mentions her taking a truncheon with her to a lecture hall as she was afraid of being mugged, only to get arrested for carrying an offensive weapon instead! Tom Baker for one adored her (he seriously pushed for having a character like her as a companion, just so her could work with her again) and the scenes where the two are sparring eccentricities is delightful. There are times when the script is hinting that she too might be an alien, but it’s a distraction to keep our eyes off Vivian and only semi-successful. By episode four sorry to say she’s just getting in the way and slowing down the plot so she can make cute comments and bring the story back down to Earth, something that gets less and less likely every time she opens her mouth (the story ends with the revelation that her best friend that she’s known years is really an alien who’s died and that the stones she’s been researching her whole life are really a gateway to another world; her response is to chunter that with three of the Ogri gone she’ll have to start her research all over again). It’s a waste of an actress of Lehman’s calibre (she was once so big that Christopher Isherwood dedicated one of his plays that became ‘Cabaret’ to her) and a sad way to end her TV career (she died roughly nine months after the broadcast of episode one; Tom was said to be devastated).


 Even so, the fact that we have two strong female characters – three if you count Romana, who is particularly well catered for in this story – is a colossal step forward. There are so many Who stories that are all male with the exception of the companion and it was a deliberate move, Read noting that Fisher was always good at writing strong female characters and asking for more to counteract the more butch stories of sword fights and squid baiting in the rest of the season. It isn’t that Fisher ignores male characters so much as switches things round, so that the girls take centre stage and the boys are up in space for the second half, relegated to ‘voices off’. There’s even a hint, as large as you could get away with in 1978 that Vivian and Rumford are Dr Who’s first lesbian couple (although ambiguous enough that they could just be good friends who enjoy sleepovers if the kiddywinkles ask). It doesn’t stop with the characters though: this is the most ‘feminine’ story of ‘classic’ Who, beaten only by ‘Survival’ at the last turn in the original series. Unlike other Who stories dealing with magic this one is specifically about witchcraft and the sort of mystical powers that have always been traditionally given to women in folk tales. This is a story solved not by laser battles but thinking and intuition, from The Doctor outwitting the Magara in space to Romana and Rumford working out what’s going on down below from a magazine and an early home computer. It’s a story driven not by a masculine monster who wants to invade your town and eat you but a villainess shunned for being ‘other’, for not playing the societal games plaid out for her. Some reviewers also point out that ‘The Stones Of Blood’ takes place under a full moon and involves bloodletting once a month, in tune with female bodily cycles. While ‘Survival’ is a bit more subtle and better written (It is actually by a woman, after all) nevertheless this is a strong and pioneering bit of writing that avoids all the usual clichés of doing a ‘female’ story: the leads aren’t young, pretty and concerned only with the blokes for a start. In fact they’re two independent female characters (again three if you count Romana) who have their own independent careers and are perfectly happy about living alone. This is 1978 remember: it’s amazing the character parts weren’t all blonde bimbos modelling for Miss World.  I really hoped we were going to get more of this sort thing when Jodie Whittaker became the first female Doctor; instead the closest we get is her being dunked as a witch in the decidedly masculine ‘Witchfinders’, a story that’s disappointingly a lot less ‘witchy’ than this one.


Mary Tamm, too, is really enjoying herself. With The Doctor removed to a sub-plot she gets to do Doctory things for the first time really, on the front foot and actually solving things rather than having to ask what’s going on all the time. In fact Romana has a great time ganging up on The Doctor and seems to have more faith in her two new companions than him for much of the story (she genuinely thinks it was The Doctor luring her to her death at the end of part one when Vivien throws her voice). She also gets three outfits in just four episode, which is a record for any companion who isn’t possessed and/or a robot duplicate (including an entire scene that had to be re-recorded when someone noticed that she was in the wrong one!) Professor Rumford has to point out how unpractical her footwear of high heels is, a nice character moment that shows both how clueless Romana is still about this adventuring lark and how oblivious The Doctor is to other people’s wardrobes. As for The Doctor it’s good to see him so far out of his comfort zone for once. Most of the things he tries this story, solving things in the usual way, don’t quite come off. He stumbles into the plot and hints big hints that he knows what’s going on, only for the story to go somewhere else and prove him wrong at most turns. He nearly comes a cropper when he tries to outsmart the Megara once too often by arguing that he’s as good as dead already as they turn off the Oxygen supply. He’s trying to put his own (and in those days when Jodie Whittaker wasn’t yet born purely ‘masculine’) stamp on proceedings and this story doesn’t work like that. You might have expected Tom Baker to throw a fit, given that this Doctor isn’t as heroic as usual but he really ups his game this story and is on top form, sparking off everyone in the room with him (and Beatrix most of all). It’s one of his greatest performances in fact as he manages to remain his usual flippant self with just enough panic that things are going wrong under the surface. When Tom was on form he really was the best at this role and he lights up the camera in pretty much every scene. K9 too is better served than usual, becoming the comedy interlude again rather than a mere gun and the Tom Baker/John Leeson interplay is at its finest too (this is the story with the famous anecdote about Tom doing the Times Crossword with John in his usual van, delighting onlookers that The Doctor really was talking to K9!)


As for the script, it works well when it’s having fun with stones but loses its way when it’s up in hyperspace and like the Ogri ultimately bites off more than it can chew. It just does too much for a four-parter, without room for any background detail (you think you’re going to get backstory for Cessair and Diplos as a planet, but it never comes). I still don’t know how we ended up going from witchcraft and paganism to legalise in a spaceship: it’s like the writer started it stoned and ended it stone cold sober. This story throws so much into the mix that there’s no stone unturned as it were – and no turn un-stoned by the fandom, given that each revelation makes the story seem dafter and dafter. The first episode is easily the best when it’s being atmospheric and ambiguous, before it has to tie itself down to an actual plot. There are hints at something older going on here, that we’re seeing the playing out of an ancient legend. ‘Battlefield’ was the one to come out and call The Doctor ‘Merlin’ but this is the Dr Who story that first dealt with Arthurian legends. Vivien Le Fay is surely based on Morgana Fay, the villainess of the tales of Camelot who once turned Arthur into stone (Merlin turned him back and then lured her off a cliff to her doom, much as Le Fay tries with Romana here). Then there’s the clue that Cessair is referred to as a ‘Cailleach’ – a druid name that literally means ‘old woman’ but also means ‘witch’ (though admittedly in Welsh/Irish/Scottish Celtic lore rather than Southern England. Maybe she decided she didn’t like the weather and got her stones to walk with her South?) Cessair itself is from an Irish myth about an early coloniser of that sceptered isle after the Biblical flood. Not forgetting the ‘Maegera’ as they’re called in Ancient Greek myths, the three furies that traditionally punished people for crimes that were preventable (usually infidelity but good luck getting that into a Dr Who script in 1978!)


This story works best when it’s hinting that the stones are part of some ancient legend, that they’ve been overseeing humanity since the dawn of civilisation and that the Ravens are passing on knowledge to an ancient powerful being. It all goes downhill when we learn that Cessair of Diplos is in hiding, that she’s just randomly parked her spaceship, that the ancient Stones are more guard dogs than anything and that the ravens are (most likely) natural. The conversation about hyperspace is particularly confusing: it’s the first time Who cashes in on the success and friendship of former script editor Douglas Adams (after he cashes in on Who in Hitch-Hikers a few times), with a mention of hyperspace. Only here it’s a different dimension separate from the laws of relativity rather than an unlikely place where whales turn into petunias – yet somehow just as illogical. Given this is the only Who story that ever mentions hyperspace you’d think they’d make more of it, but here’s it’s a background detail not the focus of the plot. While it’s nice to see some old friends in Cessair’s spaceship, a sort of hijacked prison van (basically costumes that were at the top of the props cupboard, a dead Wirrn from ‘The Ark In Space’ the dusty remains of a Kraal from ‘The Android Invasion’ and, in a cut scene, a ‘Sea Devil’). These only point to a more interesting story about her escape, which never comes (if this was modern Who they’d do it as a flashback but that just wasn’t a style really back then), while things are solved way too easily, the fact that seal (the third key to time) is also a teleport device is just as bad and unoriginal a solution as pointing K( at something and shooting it. This wouldn’t be the first Dr Who story to fail to make the most of a good idea and fall apart badly in the last episode (and it certainly won’t be the last), but it’s one of the worst culprits in the sense that what was being promised seemed so good. It would help, too, if the revelations when they came seemed like the big moments they are, but the script rather tosses them out in passing. Oh yeah by the way, I’m an alien. Oh yeah, I’m on the run. Oh yeah, the stones are actually alive and can kill people. Now let’s banter again for five minutes.   


The Megara fall between the two extremes: the idea of petty bureaucrats who are more fussed about The Doctor unknowingly breaking the law by undoing a seal and rescuing them than the villain who locked them up in the first place is priceless, exactly the sort of target Dr Who loved aiming for. The fact that they’re aliens who don’t see the bigger picture and are what we would normally say unimaginative and ‘Earth bound’ is all the funnier. The trouble is we then have to have elongated speeches about legalese which even Dr Who can’t make interesting. They’re a one-joke alien race that outstay their welcome rather, as if Fisher can’t work out what to do with them. Their design, too, is clearly a side effect of the cheaper budgets this year and like many a Williams monster look woefully cheap (see The Vardans and Nimon in particular). This lot don’t even have full costumes, not even a bit of baking foil: they’re round sparkly fairy lights worked by puppeteers dressed in black against the balck background – amazingly they don’t show (the director had worked on ‘Rainbow’ amongst stints on Who’s biggest rivals ‘Quatermass’ ‘The Tomorrow People’ and ‘Doomwatch’ and hired his old friends – it’s also where he first met John Leeson inside the Bungle suit). The voices were added afterwards to hit the beats of each blinking light and you can tell: they don’t match up or feel part of the action at all (actually the actors were making up lines at random so their voices would blink in time, according to visitors in the studio gallery: ‘Abracadabra, don’t go to sleep Doctor, I hope I don’t burst this microphone with all this popping, pop pop POP!’ The Judoon are one-note monsters too but at least they’re used against other villains as a more comic foil – we only get to see them negotiate with The Doctor at length, which makes for pone of the longest and least fun scenes in Dr Who you’ll ever see.


Even so it’s not a bad little story this one. The location shoot is brilliant and the night shoot atmospheric. There are lots of little moments I really love, from the ravens sat out on the Tardis to the cleverly paced scene where The Doctor finally learns who Cessair is intercut with Romana meeting up with Vivian not realising the danger she’s in, to the double pun of Vivian’s revelation she used to be a ‘brown owl’ (Romana, not yet used to Earth and English customs, doesn’t know it’s like the scouts for young children, although given that Vivian is really an alien who can transform herself maybe that is what she meant after all?) The Ogri are a really worthy addition to the Who pantheon of monsters (especially when they’re standing still) and I long for them to come back in the modern series so we can see more of them (hopefully they’ll have found a way to make them move without looking silly by now too). We don’t have that many ‘country’ Who stories given how city-bound so many are and this story does a better job than most at picking up on the traditional English folk-telling angle, of cut off villages with their own set of rules and regulations. If we’d just had a bit more mystery and a lot more background into the Cessair of Diplos rather than having her transform from colourful and interesting to grey and boring this story could yet have worked a treat. Certainly a lot of fans do like them, one of the Graeme MacDonald, head of serials at the BBC, who thought it the best in years (though asking to tone down the goat sacrifice ‘which could cause a lot of concern for children, adults – and me’). Then again he hated ‘The Pirate Planet’, a story that really is brimming with invention and makes the most of its quadzillion ideas, something this story never quite does. ‘Stones’ is ultimately a bit of a hodgepodge, with bits that work brilliantly alongside other bits that don’t belong.  Like pretty much all the key to time season (except maybe the ‘Armageddon Factor’ finale) there’s a great little story in here somewhere with a lot of promise and parts of it are first-rate; it’s just that getting a brilliant coherent whole out of it is like, well, getting blood out of an Ogri. This 100th story is not unlike the 200th story in fact (‘Planet Of the Dead’), a story with so much promise that never gets used. Not stone cold brilliant then, but you’d have to have a stony heart not to enjoy any of it.


POSITIVES + The big horror scene in the opening, a rare case of Dr Who killing off innocent bystanders who are recognisable normal people rather than mad professors or comedy yokels, is really well done, with the night shoot lighting, the music, the sound effects and the very real sense of panic from the actors (one of whom is DJ Pete Murray’s son Jimmy) all judged to perfection. It’s all very creepy and unexpected and makes you think this story is going to be scarier and more horrifying than it turns out to be. All the more impressive given that it was a last minute bit of desperation when it was realised that nobody had worked out how the Ogri kill people and the idea of killing people by falling on top and crushing them (as they do with K9) was vetoed for being too silly.


NEGATIVES - Aww, they took out what would surely have been the best scene, the Doctor’s 751st birthday, a nod of the scarf to the fact that this was the show’s 15th anniversary (a record for a scifi series back then; its still mighty rare now) and the 100th story. The director got talking to Tom and Mary about the big event and decided they ought to do something so they dropped in to see Anthony Read who agreed to cook up a little scene. One which is said to have horrified Fisher who felt it detracted from this story and outraged producer Williams who felt it self-indulgent and led to too many awkward questions about Gallifreyan birthdays and where little timelords came from. The scene would have been this: sometime after talking about the key to time at the start The Doctor would wander into a room where he was surprised to see K9 on top of a table laid out with a fine party spread, singing ‘Happy Birthday To You’ tunelessly. Romana walks in, reminds The Doctor it’s his birthday and goes to where she’d hidden his present (where else? The Tardis fridge!) It’s a scarf, identical to the one he’s wearing, which The Doctor loves declaring it ‘just what I needed’. The production team even went to the lengths of baking a special cake, which was eaten by cast and crew at the story wrap party instead.  A lot of fans breath a sigh of relief, but I’m rather sad it got cut: one indulgent joke every fifteen years isn’t many after all) and personally I think it sounds rather sweet (the scene I mean, not the cake).


BEST QUOTE: Rumford: ‘Are you from outer space?’ Dr: ‘No, I’m more what you’d call from inner time’.


PREQUELS/SEQUELS: ‘Seaside Rendezvous’, five page comic strip from the ‘1991 Summer Holiday Special’ edition of Dr Who Magazine, features the 7th Doctor and Ace taking in the sun on an English seaside before the unexpected re-appearance of the Ogri. Weirdly they form out of the sand not into the usual standing stones but a sort of blobby human figure. The Doctor fills in a bit of back story at speed (‘Vile things, Ogri. Even when they’re worn down to sand. They feed by absorption of amino acids you see. Globulin is the closest thing to their normal food on Earth’). Things are solved surprisingly easily, not by Ace  - despite her attempts to fight the creature and cursing the Doctor for saying she wouldn’t need her nitro 9 on holiday - but by a passing fire engine with their hoses! One of the weirder DWM comic strips.


‘Vengeance Of The Stones (2013), the 3rd Doctor entry in Big Finish’s multi-Doctor 50th anniversary set ‘Destiny Of the Doctor’, recounts once and for all (again) how Captain Mike Yates joined UNIT. He happens to be the junior lieutenant officer on duty in North-East Scotland when The Brigadier and the 3rd Doctor wander off investigating ancient stones in the North of Scotland (similar to ‘The Stones Of Blood’
but less creepy and more moral, in the style of most 3rd Dr stories). Yates is captured by the Armidians (sounds painful!), a race who came for Earth’s natural resources but were attacked by the natives before they could finish the Stones and have been seeking revenge ever since. The Brig, impressed at the young man’s calm head in a crisis and knowing he won’t have to explain alien threats, enlists him as his new UNIT captain at the end of a story that’s good but predictable.

 

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