Timelash: Ranking - 264

 Timelash

(Season 22, Dr 6 with Peri, 9-16/3/1985, producer: John Nathan-Turner, script editor: Eric Saward, writer: Glen McCoy, director: Pennant Roberts)  

Rank: 264

In which we get a sequel to a story we never saw, which inspires a writer to create stories that inspire Doctor Who itself, featuring Avon from the show's biggest rival Blake's 7...

This is another of those much-ridiculed stories that often props up the bottom of many DW fan lists but, as you can tell by how far through the ranking we are already, I don't mind it. The story's all a bit cheap looking and you can tell its a money saver between two big epics, but frankly it's scifi on the BBC. If you're watching DW for FX and pricey model shots and scenery then, honestly, you might be watching the wrong show, in any era. Not that the rest of it is great: the script is on the basic side, but it's not that bad. It's 1 of only 2 unsolicited scripts turned into stories and while it's less inventive than 'Full Circle' it's also a lot more DW-y and not bad at all for a novice (who was, after all, an ambulance driver writing scripts in his spare time). The acting is admittedly variable but I rather like Paul Darrow's oft-criticised performance of Tekker, whose exactly the sort of scheming Shakesperian Richard III part he plays it as (though I'm rather glad he was asked to drop the humped back he used in rehearsals!) Certainly it's less OTT than Colin Baker was as Bayban the Butcher in Blake's 7 - legend had long had it that Paul was getting his own back for being sent up on his own show! The biggest problem with the cast is that no one seems to be sure if this is a serious piece or a comedy, so nobody's on the same page. It is, of course, kind of both simultaneously as are many Whos. I don't think Timelash is terrible though: other stories have been worse in all these areas and there are some things really going for it. The Borad is actually a pretty chilling villain by the time he finally appears and one with better motivation than most DW monsters too after his 'disfigurement' in an experiment that went wrong. Herbert is the story's one really weak link. having nothing much in common with H G Wells, the writer he's meant to grow up to be, except the name (and even then nobody called him Herbert - he was Bertie to those who knew him - and he was early supporter of Darwinisim, as critical of the Church's role in society as anybody was back then, not the pious soul he is on screen. Unless his involvement in this story changed him that way of course (though it's never said). Most of all, though, he's by far the most 'ordinary' of all the 'celebrities' we meet in DW historicals - there's no hint here that he's one of the most imaginative writers that ever lived, he's just Adric as he might have been had he been given a sheltered upbringing on Earth. View him as someone else with the same name and he makes more sense. That leaves the 6th Dr and Peri at their most bitchy (you do wonder why, more than any other companion, why poor Peri hangs around to be insulted by the Dr and molested by monsters week in week out. Loyalty to the 5th Dr for saving her life maybe?) They're still highly watchable though and Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant clearly adore each other in real life. Honestly, there's nothing else here that's that bad, although it is all rather unforgettable. No wonder the 3rd Dr and Jo never bother to mention their off-screen adventures on Karfel to anybody! That's brave move actually, refencing an adventure we never got long before the days when Big Finish could fill in the pieces...

Positives + Being so forgettable makes this section a bit harder than normal, but I'm going to plump for the set design. This gets much ridicule too but, considering the gap in the budget, it looks pretty darn good to me. So many DW sets are square and boxy by default, as that's the easiest way of slotting lots of sets back to back in TV studios. Occasionally an inventive set designer will do something with circles. But this is one of the few sets to use triangles, including the time portal at the heart of the story, which looks great...until you realise that the special effect is just someone walking through it and disappearing.

Negatives - Nothing demonstrated this story's budgetary problems more than this week's 'bonus' monster, The Bandrils, which the script would be better leaving out. For the one and only time in the 1980s...It's a puppet!