Thursday, 31 August 2023

The Rescue: Ranking - 80

          The Rescue

(Season 2, Dr 1 with Ian, Barbara and Vicki, 2-9/1/1965, producer: Verity Lambert, script editor: Dennis Spooner (uncredited), writer: David Whittaker, director: Christopher Barry)

Rank: 80

   'There once was a monster named Koquillion
He had spines all down his chinnigan

Until the Tardis came he thought he was winningham

But the Dr blew his plans in again

So he left the planet Dido to travel to Michigan
Got on a chat show with Richard and Judy Finnigan
That was the last anyone anyone saw of him again
Poor old Koquillion
Begin again!...




 


 There’s been a lot of fuss down the years, understandably, about what a sea-change the first DW regeneration in ‘The Tenth Planet’ was. After all, no other series had ever thought to try anything like it and traditionally in the 1960s, if a series was lucky enough to run for enough years for a cast member to leave they were simply replaced by a vague lookalike with no reference to the change at all (think Darrin in near-contemporary‘ Bewitched’; I like to think the casting of Richard Hurndall in ‘The Five Doctors’ was a nod of the hat to this as well). However the first change of companion in the series was, in many ways, every bit as big and scary for the production team. The original Tardis crew had been created after a lot of thought, with Susan simultaneously the audience identification figure for the elder children watching at home and an exotic alien who was open and friendly in ways that the Doctor wasn’t (yet). In the original pre-series paperwork Susan’s arguably a better thought out character than her grandfather: she’s all things to all demographics - hip enough to have a 1963 Vidal Sassoon haircut for the teenagers, young enough to be taken by the children at home as ‘their’ character, cute enough for elders to feel as protectively grandfatherly as the Doctor and intriguingly other-worldly enough to fascinate the adults. No one in the production office seems to have given any proper thought to what might happen if one of the cast decided to leave – after all, DW was long assumed by everybody not to last long enough for anyone to get to the end of their year contracts. So it was a shock when Carole Ann Ford handed in her notice. You can’t really blame her – there she was, a 23-year-old adult with a string of strong acting credits to her name, playing a 15-year-old who often acted younger (but is arguably older given what we now know about timelords and the ageing process; she could be anything up to a few hundred years old if this is her first regeneration). Carole also signed up on the back of Susan’s more interesting alien features as listed in the series notes sent to writers before filming that were never properly used on screen (bar a spot of telepathy in ‘The Sensorites’). Luckily the production team had the luxury of a rare break and two stories already recorded to come up with her replacement: a space-age girl named Valerie, then Lukki, then Tanni, then finally Vicki, after a false start trying to make Jenni from ‘Dalek Invasion Of Earth’ a much brusquer cynical type of companion. Vicki’s characterisation similarly went from following Susan’s alien side, to being a combination, to being another teenage identification figure who just happened to come from the future. It must have been a nightmare trying to work out what to make the new girl like (which might be why they took so many goes to get it right, far more than with any other companion for years): luckily they got it more right with Vicki than most. Though only a two parter in an era of fours and sixes, ‘The Rescue’ is the only story to date that’s only about the new companion, rather than simply adding someone to the Tardis who proved their worth during the plot and luckily Vicki shines from the first, already far more rounded than Susan ever was and my candidate as the best DW companion of them all – even if, like Susan, the writers never quite make the most of the promise in her early stories. Notably she’s a lot more rounded from the first; she has a different relationship with each member of the Tardis crew as she meets them: Barbara’s motherly tones brings out her tales of sadness and isolation, Ian’s enthusiasm perks her up no end and she’s more than a match for the Dr’s curiosity (s an aside its notable how much more like Susan the 1st Dr becomes after she leaves, a far more ‘approachable’ alien than the darker grumpier soul of season one). The adopting ugly aliens and giving them cute pet names is all Vicki’s though, a character trait they really need to bring back. It’s worth saying too that, even though in time Vicki will become one of the more optimistic and in many ways daring of DW companions she experiences a lot more trauma than most. The DW production team sensibly decide to maker her an orphan (that’s ‘sensibly’ because nowadays we can’t go a story without a companion on the phone to someone and parents seem to end up part of the plot a lot these days) whose part of a rocket team that’s crash-landed on ‘Dido’,a planet that the Dr knows used to be inhabited but now seems to be empty – as a result she has nothing to lose when the Tardis comes a calling and has been desperate for adventure during her lonely years there (even if she probably didn’t bargain for quite this much adventure!) She already lost her mum before even leaving her home planet (never named) with her dad for the planet Astra – before he was killed, apparently by the local aliens (she was only spared the same fate, so she thinks, after developing a fever). She does have one other companion, but he makes even the 1st Dr at his grumpiest seem friendly – apparently disabled in the crash he treats Vicki as his general slave, trapping her while pretending to be protective of her and keeping her safe from the evil aliens outside who, so he says, killed all the other members of the rocket crew. Vicki lost everyone in the crash and the rocket is beyond repair for getting home while there have been no other visitors, so this is so it seems the way things are going to be be until she dies – and she is, after all, merely a teenager (even if her age seems to vary from writer to writer between 15 and 17). You wouldn’t blame her for growing up xenophobic against the local alien race or mad from the stress and panic of it all but instead she stays sweet; no wonder she adopts a sand beast as a pet for company and will develop a habit of adopting anything that moves and/or doesn’t try to kill her during her time on the series (sometimes even when it does). First script editor David Whittaker wrote this all-important story and clearly had something of a ‘Cinderella’ tale in mind, only with the Tardis as the magical pumpkin-coach that takes Vicki away from her nightmare (and the 1st Dr as an unlikely Fairy Godmother for her, rather than a grandfather!) The planet name of ‘Dido’ also suggests Nahum Tate’s ‘Dido and Aeneas’ of 1678 where, if she’s ‘Dido’, she represents Britain in the pre-Victorian pre-Empire comeback betrayed by the witches and demons of the people who should be keeping her safe (Vicki is very much a contemporary British 60s girl, down to the hair and big eyes and – in a future episode – a love of the Beatles, for all that she comes from the 25th century). That’s exactly what happens in this story, where her adopted father-figure Bennett turns out to be a brute, lying to her and keeping her trapped. Maureen O’Brien was herself all of 21 when she took this role (her first TV after a career on the stage; she’s a co-founding of my local The Everyman Theatre in Liverpool) but you wouldn’t know it: this script asks a lot of her, with its lengthy scenes and big range of emotions but she nails them all, moving between them with ease. You cry with her when Barbara attacks and kills her pet (mistakenly), you cheer her on when she takes up action alongside Ian and you giggle with her when the Dr clearly takes a shine to her and recognises the same rebellious carefree spirit as his own. As many fans will tell you there’s no real plot to this story – it’s the first of an occasional run of Dr Whodunnits in the series working out who the mysterious monster Koquillion might be and on that score (its hardly worth a spoiler this revelation) it fails miserably given that we only meet two characters the whole story and one of them becomes a regular so its not going to be her. Despite being so comparatively minor the plot doesn’t make much sense anyway – how come Bennet bothers to go to the lengths of dressing up just to fool Vicki?, how come he keeps her around at all when he killed off all the others as she’s not a natural cook/cleaner/bottlewasher? (Though not the smartest cookie DW’s ever had Vicki’s sheltered and inexperienced rather than thick – she’s more than clever enough to see through the ruse when its pointed out to her, as if she’s secretly realised it but didn’t want to admit to it). What exactly is Bennet’s plan anyway? He’s on the run for a murder he wants to keep quiet, sure, but surely being stuck on a planet with no hope of escape is worse than a prison – especially if Vicki’s vegetable garden is all they have to eat. And how come the local Didonians that the Dr remembers only turn up at the end (where the heck have they been all these years?) Their damaging of the ship’s radio is strange too – that’s not the behaviour of the friendly creatures the Dr remembered and even if they’re afraid of humans who have the capacity to blow up their own, why only do this now, at the end of the story, not all the months the ship’s been there? It’s a surprise that Whittaker, especially, ended up with so many loose ends in this story – usually he’s a much smarter writer than that, coming up with some of DW’s most complex and thorough plots (from ‘The Crusades’ to ‘Power Of The Daleks’ to ‘Evil Of The Daleks’). However what ‘The Rescue’ shares with Whittaker’s other works is some truly brilliant dialogue. This is his first chance to write for the characters he helped create since he adjusted their personalities in the third story ‘Edge Of Destruction’ and he breathes new life into them here, so that they all become less cliched and noticeably more like each other: Barbara gets her intelligence and empathy back and gets to do Ian’s job shooting the sandbeast (albeit wrongly), Ian isn’t just brave but clever too doing the thinking you’d normally think the Dr would get to do, while part two might well be the best characterisation of the 1st Dr of all: his cross-patchiness hides a warm heart, a twinkle in the eye and an eagerness to see the universe, which in turn hides a cold and very alien type of anger when he works out what’s really going on. His early scenes missing Susan are really sweet, but his delight when a ready-made replacement all but falls into his lap is even better. Judging by the viewpoints of those who were there at the time this seems like one of the happiest Tardis teams behind the scenes too and it shows – this is a real family unit who enjoy working together. Many fans chunter that the two parts of this story make it seem out of place, but its the perfect length for this tale – anymore and the plot would have to detract from the characterisation going on here while stretching that too thin to hold our interest. The 50 minute size, the default length of stories in DW these days, also makes it seem very modern somehow: not a sentence is wasted, not a scene goes on too long and its all about people driving the plot not the plot driving the people (if anything its even more like a Star Trek story original or any of the modern spin-offs than your traditional DW stories alongside it; notably we don’t explore this ‘world’ at all – the whole point of DW in its earliest days – just the spaceship and two people in it; when the Dr and Ian try they get trapped in a rockfall). In other words ‘The Rescue’ and indeed Vicki herself rescued DW just at the moment when the series might have come toppling down without Susan there, delivering a new breath of life into the show in season two just when it was in danger of growing stale. My only regret is that Sandy the sandbeast didn’t get to join the Tardis too as that would have been fun, a sort of bitier less logical K9. In fact its a surprise Vicki never fully adopts another pet: you’d think the Tardis would be knee-deep in chumbleys, mecchanoids and giant ants by the time she leaves. Another of those stories that’s much under-rated.


+ The Koquillion costume is impressive, strange and plausibly alien in the way that other contemporary DW monsters like the Voord and Sensorites are, but also equally plausible as a man in a suit cobbled together from odds and ends. The spines that make him look like a cross between a hedgehog and a lizard are a neat touch and still unlike anything else DW has given us to date.


- Apparently the UK has enough budget and scientific knowhow to run its own rocket programme to travel across the far reaches of the stars within the next 470 years. Ahahahahaha I doubt it. Of all the optimistic far-fetched visions of the future in DW this one is right up there with mankind making it to the year 5 billion, setting up a successful (till it isn’t) colony on Mars, Earth joining an intergalactic federation on Peladon that’s a little like the EU and a future where there’s actually a political candidate worth voting for in Harriet Jones.  


Wednesday, 30 August 2023

Boom Town: Ranking - 81

             Boom Town

(Series 1, Dr 9 with Rose, 4/6/2005, showrunner: Russell T Davies, writer: Russell T Davies, director: Joe Ahearne

Rank: 81

In an emoji: 🥚

   'You say I never look my prisoners in the eye? Well look around you, this restaurant is full of my other selves dining with monsters. There's my first self eating vitalite with a Sensorite. My second incarnation is enjoying an ice cream with an ice warrior. The 3rd Dr's forgotten about the nestene consciousness and is hiding under the table from the killer plastic forks. My 4th regeneration is chasing a Fendahl with table salt while munching on jelly babies. My 5th self is  sharing a stick of celery with a Tractator. My 6th self is enjoying a baked potato with a sontaron. The 7th Dr is having some liquorice allsorts with the Kandy Man. The 10th Dr is eating some face of Boescits with the big face himself. Dr 11 is staring at some weeping angel cakes. The 12th Dr is having a KFC boneless banquet with The Boneless. And the 13th Dr is having garlic with the Daleks'. 




 


In Boom Town (Cardiff to you!) the Boom Town rat-Slitheens have all left the sinking ship except for one and Margaret Slitheen does not like Mondays (I’m guessing this story takes place on a Monday for the purposes of the joke anyway). In ‘old’ Who DW flirted occasionally with the idea that the Dr couldn’t swan in and out of people’s lives forever willy nilly without having it come back to haunt him in some way – ‘The Ark’ restarts the story partway through to show a before and after the 1st Dr got involved and the 4th Dr causes the plot of ‘Face Of Evil’ and ends up being declared ‘The Evil One’. But more even than these stories ‘Boom Town’ looks at what happens six months after an alien invasion has been thwarted and the Dr has left – only to return. One of the best aspects of ‘Aliens In London/WWIII’ was the way in which Russell T Davies was at pains to point out that his first alien creation the Slitheen who were trying to take over the Earth weren’t all bad – we were just seeing one rogue family on the make that had grown up crooked (and every planet has at least one family like that – most of humanity’s just happened to be in power in that story, that’s all) and even they weren’t all bad, just opportunistic. Alas as episodes tick by Russell seems to forget this very Dr Who trait that not all monsters from outer space are evil – we get a string of people who want to murder us in our beds, from the Gelth to the Reavers to the Jagarafess not to mention The Daleks - but in this story we get a whole backstory exploring why the monster of the week a couple of months ago turned out the way she did. Here we return to WWIII’s most interesting character, Margaret Slitheen, and her attempts to hide in a human bodysuit in plain sight in Cardiff even after her evil plan’s been rumbled as she runs around making friends, keeping up her job and building nuclear power stations. Yes she still has a scheme to kill us all but she’s slowly losing heart as she goes native and discovers that the humans she mingles with are actual people with actual lives and not just vermin to be destroyed. And suddenly she’s not so evil now her nasty relatives are nowhere to be seen and corrupt her. She starts the story sparing a journalist after learning that she’s pregnant and has by now fallen in love with all the daft quirks of her adopted home world to the point where she’s carved out a new life for herself actually doing some good for the humans around her (give or take the nuclear power). The Doctor’s not having any of it at first – this is the more bruised, less merciful 9th incarnation after all – and for him and an equally sceptical Rose it’s only been a few episodes since Margaret Slitheen was killing people without a second thought. But time changes everything in this series and she really does seem to have genuinely changed with the space to get to know the people she was killing as friends rather than prey and with time to think over her actions. Whether this escaped convict still deserves mercy for changing too late in the day is up for debate though and that debate is right at the heart of this story, which asks all the questions Dr Who had never thought to ask before about things like the death penalty and the morals of how we treat our prisoners (Russell T Davies is a fierce opponent of capital punishment, believing in mercy for all and afraid of mistakes that happen with the justice system, a theme that’s cropped up in a few of his pre-Who shows. 


So, ‘Boom Town’ is Dr Who at its most hippie-ish then, like the days of the 1960s when the Doctor hung around Tibet and inspired six youthful revolutions before breakfast? Not quite. This story (originally called ‘Dining With Monsters’) is about second helpings but also just desserts. This doctor in particular is no mug (despite looking like a Toby Jug) and doesn’t buy anything Margaret Slitheen says to him across the story – rightly so given some of her obvious ploys but even when she’s obviously telling the truth. During the course of her ‘last super’ before the Doctor hands her over to her people to be executed she both plays on his sympathies with tales of what they actually do to prisoners (dissolve them in acid and feed them to the venom grubs from ‘The Web Planet’ while still conscious, the sort of fate too nasty even for certain politicians) and physically attacks him, but the Doctor sees every attack coming emotional and actual and just sits there with his best stony face on. Usually the Doctor leaves this sort of mopping-up operation up to other people (UNIT have their uses after all!) but here, for the first time in a long time, he has to look at one of the people he’s captured and look them in the eyes. Rose doesn’t get off the hook either and has to face the consequences of her actions in this story – it’s been a while now since she ran off with the Doctor and her mum and her ex have developed new lives without her, something she finds hard to take. But why should they live their lives waiting for her? Dr Who has always been at pains to point out that everyone is special and even the girl the Doctor chose to travel and fall for above all others is no more deserving of a full and proper life than anyone else. Rose left a void, but it’s a void that other people deserve to fill. This is a rare story in this first series when you side with comedy coward Mickey and narrow-minded mum Jackie over brave but selfish Rose and you get to see the universe through their eyes, trying to live their ordinary lives at a normal speed while Rose flits through it with tales of adventure but nothing solid for them to reach to. ‘Boom Town’ is, then, the quiet beating heart of the series, asking all the questions of the main characters they haven’t had to answer till now –in any era. That’s what I love about ‘new Who’ and the one thing it gets ‘right’ consistently over the ‘classic’ series: that idea of consequences, that even the Doctor in a space-time travel machine can’t escape the ripples of his actions. It feels as if the series has been set up to make this episode a pay-off for those thoughts. 


 So much so that this story, which returns to the scene of the first story filmed for new-Who (but shown 4th) feels like it was written decades later by a much subtler and thoughtful writer and all part of some grand Russell T Davies masterplan story arc, one where he would show us how nothing in the Whoniverse or our universe is ever quite as black and white as it seems on the telly and how the real moral of this show is to be kind to people when you don’t know what they’re going through, even when they’re not being kind to you; this is, after all, a rare series where the lead hero never acts out of revenge and doesn’t believe in an eye-for-an-eye, who never carries a weapon (bar a sonic screwdriver and the occasional tin dog), someone who offers mercy more times than not. It’s the perfect near-ending of the 9th Doctor’s story arc as he moves from angst-ridden wounded warrior with survivor’s guilt who hates the universe he sacrificed so many people to save in the time war to the sort of person who, mostly thanks to hanging around Rose, believes in second chances and that things can get better. Except ‘Boom Town’ was very much a last minute substitute, a deliberately low budget episode at the end of the season. Because, ah yes this is the infamous ‘difficult 11th episode’(though for some seasons such as series three, it’s the 10th): the one that’s always written in the schedules in pencil because of last-minute changes and cancellations and over-running stories, tucked away near the end of recording schedules as an afterthought. Something always seems to go wrong here (it’s same slot as ‘Fear Her’ Utopia’ and ‘Midnight', all of which had teething problems of their own). Originally this slot was meant to house a story from Stephen Fry (who not only dropped out unprofessionally late but then rudely slagged the series off in the press). Then it was a story by Russell’s friend Paul Abbott but that fell through too when ‘Shameless’ became his breakout hit (of all the writers who’ve submitted proposals for modern Who he’s the one with least idea of the series: he submitted a story proposal that undid everything Russell had carefully set up at a stroke by writing a plot that had Rose as an artificial construction bred to be the Doctor’s ‘perfect companion’. There’s a tale that Russell got the scene breakdown and rang up mock-angrily laugh-shouting ‘what the hell did you do to my creation?!’) For a while this story was what became ‘Fires Of Pompeii’ but Russell realised quickly that it would cost too much for this slot, which had to be dirt cheap with what was left over from the other episodes (which wasn’t a lot). Knuckling down to work Russell started a story that sounds a lot like what became ‘Wild Blue Yonder’, where the Doctor and Rose find themselves walking down corridors in a land so far in the future that the normal rules of science don’t apply, finding themselves revealing secrets about their guilty past as they walk – this was nixed because the technology wasn’t there to do it back then and it gave away a bit too much about these characters that other stories had already told better. Instead, with deadlines looming and time ticking, Russell wrote ‘Boom Town’ at more or less the last minute – his only script of that first year having seen how the series looked in the rushes and so was able to tweak it to the characters he saw. Most of Russell’s stories thus far had been in his head for years, even decades: this one’s turnaround from first draft to last was just weeks. 


 This particular story was inspired by two things: one is that Russell had been given the chance to act as a stand-in on Who’s first recording session (he was ‘being’ Christopher Eccleston while they set the lighting rig, although even Eccleston isn’t quite as tall as Russell) opposite Annette Badland and found himself apologising for how wasted she clearly was in a part that gave her little to do and that he would write her a bigger one next time. The other is that Wales isn’t just ‘the cheapest and most easily available place willing to make Dr Who’ anymore – it’s become a home, the place where Dr Who regenerated. So far this year we’ve only seen Cardiff standing in for London or as various alien planets with the exception of ‘The Unquiet Dead’ but even that was how the city appeared in the 19th century. Here Russell uses every trick in the book to show off his new home city at its best, repaying the favour the city took by giving Dr Who a home and being so welcoming and so proud of the series made on their doorstep, a place so wonderful even aliens fall in love with it and find themselves reformed. There’s a lot of Wales in this story – officially because it was the nearest place to film and Russell knew the area well after a year there filming, but also you suspect because he’s fallen in love with the country that had so taken to having DW made there for the first time. Among the buildings we see prominently are The Glamorgan Building, home of the city council who had been so helpful with filming requirements and Millennium Centre Square (the place where the Tardis lands) which Russell could actually see from his home writing desk. I also wonder if this story is a Russell T in-joke about the famous Pertwee quote (in a Radio Times interview no less) where he rather defensively said of the Earthbound format of the 1970s that ‘it was scarier to come across a Yeti on your loo in Tooting Bec’ than in outer space; here we start the story with a Slitheen actually on the loo in Cardiff – not Cardiff pretending to be somewhere else, but very much the actual Cardiff. Watch out too for the brilliant and heartfelt dig put in by Russell after 26 years of DW being such a London-centred series almost always made in the nation’s capital: Margaret Slitheen can hide in Cardiff because ‘London doesn’t care – the South West Coast could fall into the sea and they wouldn’t notice’ (this is the moment she realises ‘God help me, I’ve gone native!’ So native she even apparently lives in the same block as flats as Owen from Torchwood: how bad at alien hunting is he?!) A lot of people Russell had worked with that year were saying much the same to him and how pleased they were to house a series that would put them on the map that normally would be made in London automatically. Re-using an actress who’d been a proven hit and a local setting that was cheap were also big plusses for what was the lowest budgeted episode of the series (and therefore the whole of the ‘reboot’ series so far, given the extra money Who got after this). 


There’s no way even Fry, one of our celebrated intellectuals, could have come up with a script this clever: ‘Boom Town’ feels like Russell, the two-part finale finished, writing the last episode for what might be his one and only shot at writing for Dr Who (which had only been commissioned for a single series at the time) and making the most of this unexpected chance to ask the big questions that have been puzzling him all his years as a fan: what happened when the Tardis left at the end of a story? Did things go back to normal? Were the baddies changed by their experience? Was the Doctor? Would all of them have done the exact same thing if they’d known how everything turned out in the end? Being one of the more empathetic and character-driven writers for the series in any era, it’s no surprise he’s the first writer to ask out loud ‘what happens to everyone when the Dr leaves?’ It may well be writing ‘Long Game’ as a set-up for the ‘Bad Wolf’ series finale set Russell off thinking down these lines as there, too, it’s the vacuum left by the Dr’s interference that causes all the problems. That story’s a Dalek trap though, left because they know one or other Doctor will come along and try to put things right; this story returns to a tale that was deliberately written to feel very much like a traditional Dr Who story and isn’t a trap so much as an accident; Margaret Slitheen thinks she’s gotten away with her crimes and thinks she’ll never see the Dr again. It may be, too, that Russell was inspired by this story’s namesake, a 1940 Western: two men from out of town down on their luck hatch up a plan to steal drilling equipment and make their fortune by stealing from the locals, only to find the plan takes so long that they fall in love with the place and become locals themselves, desperately trying to cover up their guilty secret of why they first came into town (the story ends with the being accepted and turning their money over to the locals, before being given equipment legitimately so they can start all over again and make their own fortune). In that sense the title works as a triple pun: it not only references the film but also the earthquake that shatters the restaurant windows and Russell’s plan to put Cardiff on the tourist map and make it a ‘boom town’. 


 A lot of fans dismiss this story as the runt of the series one litter – this is, after all, the one story this year with monsters we’ve seen before in a Cardiff setting that’s become as familiar as our own back yards by episode 11 (even if meant to be somewhere else) and on a sheer spectacle level its clear how much excitement levels have dropped since we got crowd scenes of monsters in episode two when all we get is one big blast, a little bit of running and a lot of talking. But that’s precisely what I love about this story: there’s no special effects to hide behind, no big monster to be the ‘shock absorber’ that lets everyone get away with a subpar plot, no incidental character to get all the good lines. Instead it’s just a cracking script full of wit and character that goes to places no Dr Who story before or since bothered to visit. Arguably we learn more about the 9th Dr in this than his other 12 episodes put together now Russell has seen how Eccleston plays him on screen, as a tough man forever trying to break into a smile before he remembers what he’s been through. He’s deeply in love with Rose by this time and she’s brought out his compassionate side, even while Captain Jack brings out a very human streak of jealousy we’ve not seen from him before and the Slitheen brings out his callous ruthless side to boot, triggering his merciless angry side. We also see the darker flashes hinted at in ‘Dalek’ (which clearly surprised Russell when Robert Shearman came up with them but which he loved, judging by the Radio Times preview and his emails to Dr Who magazine), with the Doctor clearly stung by Margaret Slitheen’s pot-shots that the Dr’s no different from her, becoming the unelected judge and executioner of so many baddies (best put down when he talks to her about how letting some people go doesn’t automatically make her good – ‘only a killer would know that’). This is a doctor who once killed strangers at the press of a button in the time war who now has to look his enemy in the eye and you can see that it haunts him in new ways all over again, as he thinks about all the people whose eyes he didn’t see who still went through the same agonies. One of the biggest surprises in Christopher Eccleston’s brief time in the Tardis was how good this famously dark and brooding drama actor was at the comedy (he’s kind of the opposite of Jon Pertwee and Sylvester McCoy, who were hired for the laughs and ended up making their Drs more serious and darker-edged – Eccleston’s CV practically had ‘gritty kitchen sink northerner’ all over it); Russell’s clearly taken that on board and written him a comic tour de force here which he sells to perfection. The scene in the restaurant for the convicted Margaret Slitheen’s ‘last meal’ (look out for the girl dining who screams when the glass shatters by the way – that’s Billie Piper’s series double Kim Garritty in her only on-screen appearance) where Mrs Slitheen tries every trick in the book on him where he just nonchalantly stops her poisoned darts and poisoned breath without glancing up from the menu is one of the funniest Dr Who scenes of them all and a perfect example of how comedy works at its best in this series, complementing rather than subtracting from the drama and horror. This is, after all, a person so desperate to stay alive they’re resorting to desperate measures, even if they’re measures the Doctor sees coming a mile away. Only at the end does the Slitheen give up tricking him and beg for pity – and then we see a whole different side to this Doctor, one that he thought the time war had taken forever but which, mostly being around Rose, he begins to re-open up. 


It’s a neat bit of character development we’d miss if this moment wasn’t there and the 9th Doctor simply regenerated a story later (and it’s vague whether Russell T knew this would be his last story for Christopher Eccleston or not). It’s been an unspoken rule that each regeneration of the Doctor has to ‘learn’ something before they can move on to the person they’re meant to be next, something which is underplayed in ‘Bad Wolf/Parting Of The ways’ because of the need to set up a really big potential ending point for the series. The first Doctor’s arc slowly moves him from self-preservationist to sacrificing himself for others. The second Doctor slowly learns the need to be responsible and doing the right thing, even when knowing what his own people might do to him (a far cry from where he starts, making jokes tooling on his recorder and trying on hats). The third Doctor learns that his curiosity gets the people around him into trouble. The fourth learns that even he can’t outrun fate and gravity forever. The fifth Doctor learns the high price of being such a given person and so on (things trip up because the 6th Doctor is effectively exterminated by Michael Grade before he’s ready – although this arc would have been the most explicit of them all had it gone the way Colin Baker and Eric Saward planned – while the 7th and 8th Doctor eras ended prematurely). This Doctor’s arc is in many ways the opposite of the 5th Doctor in ‘Caves Of Androzani’ – the time war made him a bitter, angry man afraid to feel for any other living thing in case it meant them dying too. But in the next story (spoilers) Rose literally saves him from dying (not just regenerating but dying, because there’s no way the Daleks would have stopped when he turned into David Tennant) because she cares for him so much. It’s here that Russell T shows the contrast most with who the Doctor is now compared to what he was when we first met him in ‘Rose’ and warning Rose off because he worked better alone – now he’s got a team around him and he’s ‘domesticated’ for lack of a better word, looking comfortable walking round a city in modern-day Britain with a gang and hanging around dining in restaurants. He’s healed, at peace with his actions as much as he ever can be (it wasn’t that long ago, in ‘Dalek’, he was scaring Rose with his darker side) so even the thing that would normally set him off and trigger him (Margaret pointing out that he’s a killer and not that unlike her deep down) doesn’t affect him anymore. Last minute substitution for a ‘bigger’ story ‘Boom Town’ might be but the series one arc wouldn’t work as well without it. 


 The Doctor bounces between all these many different sides in this series like an alien pinball machine and in the end, rather than be his usual decisive self, he leaves it up to the Tardis what happens next and she pops out an egg, ready to live her life all over again. The (spoilers) ending is seen by some fans as a trick and has been much criticised but I really like it: Russell’s been thinking hard about his stance on capital punishment and like many an empathetic soul before him can see where people go wrong isn’t always because of their nature but through nurture and the effect of the people around them. Freed of the need to impress her evil family Margaret Slitheen has discovered a whole way of thinking she never even knew existed and is worthy of a second chance – the ‘badness’ in her might be too ingrained to make a difference, but then she’ll end up meeting the Doctor all over again and facing the same fate. Until then the script cleverly keeps you guessing till the end whether the Dr’s really going to go through with sending Margaret Slitheen back to Raxacofalipatorious to be executed or whether he’s going to go ‘soft’ and let her go free. Indeed, of all the ending in Dr Who, this is one of my favourite: the Doctor isn’t judge jury or executioner but the bringer of hope that things will be different next time – and whether they are or not is up to you. I’m amazed, in fact, that the more Buddhist end of the Dr Who spectrum, writers like Barry Letts and Christopher bailey, hadn’t got their first. Yes it would have helped if we’d known the Tardis had this capability first, but then the Tardis should always be surprising us: it’s not like other machines and the way things turn out is entirely in keeping with the earliest Dr Who stories like ‘Edge Of Destruction’ that stress how much this is a machine that can ‘think’. 


One thing I wish had been developed more is the political satire that made ‘Aliens In London’ so memorable. Margaret Slitheen gets out of trouble repeatedly by effectively being a ‘politician’, hiding in plain sight amongst other human politicians who are just as corrupt as she is. Near the start the script throws in the fact that she’s been working on a ‘Bad Wolf’ nuclear station in the heart of Wales and conned everyone into thinking that it’s a good thing that she’s been cutting safety measures and checks. There’s even another Russell T Davies dig at the ‘weapons of mass destruction’ fiasco with the story’s best gag as a reporter challenges her about the nuclear safety test inspectors all coming to sticky ends like Dr David Kelly in real life (‘He slid on an icy patch’ ‘He was decapitated!’ ‘Well, it was a very icy patch’). I love the satirical side of Russell T’s writing, the best aspect of ‘Aliens In London’, but here it’s just another passing phase this story goes through before it turns into something else entirely and we’ve never really had it again since (well, not till lockdown when he turned Boris Johnson into an Auton anyway).


 Regardless ‘Boom Town’ is still the perfect near-end to a near-perfect series, one that delivers all the high drama, charm and comedy of the best of the returning series one but in a script that digs a little deeper than any have had the space to dig before in the newer, faster series (if this had been the olden days of four parters then this would have been the last part of ‘Aliens In London’). There are, admittedly, not as many fireworks or indeed booms and bangs in ‘Boom Town’ as in other stories, the Rose-Mickey sub-plot gets boring fast, Captain Jack needn’t have bothered to turn up at all (he’s there mostly so that he can learn about the time rift and thus launch the ‘Torchwood’ series from Cardiff in another year and a bit)and one Slitheen is maybe not as impressive as three or four. That said, though, for all the bigger budget in ‘Aliens Of London’ that story doesn’t get anything as right as this one: that’s story’s a sometimes uneasy mix of horror, politics and laughs with Slitheen who spend too much of their time farting and with arch jokes that don’t always connect and occasional dodgy effects; this is a character piece where the characters are deep, the writing is exquisite and the actors know what they’re doing that bit more and can bring so much more confidence. Even if this story gets forgotten and overlooked now, subtler than probably any other story of the five-year Davies comeback run, the rest of those stories wouldn’t be as strong without this episode there as his era’s ‘conscience’. Possibly the most under-rated story of the entire run of new-Who, this one is an under-rated gem, not the fine wine and dining of other stories perhaps but a gourmet meal on a budget that hits the taste-buds all the same. 


 POSITIVES + There have been many great actors and actresses playing the parts of Dr Who monsters down the years but Annette Badland is clearly one of the best. Russell obviously thought so too, picking up on how her Slitheen in ‘Aliens Of London’ was subtler than the other performances, a baddy who was opportunistic rather than cruel. Badland’s career was mostly spent playing sweet dotty ladies before this but she’s an excellent baddy – her sudden switches from self-pity back into cruel sneers and confident charm keep you guessing what side this Slitheen is on right till the last few minutes, but she’s also believable as a scared, sad, regretful alien too. There are very few acting roles in this story but all are excellent – a shout out to William Thomas as Mr Cleaver, becoming the first actor to appear in both ‘old’ and ‘new’ series along the way (he was the undertaker in ‘Remembrance Of Daleks’ who gives Davros a literal ‘helping hand’ and also played Gwen’s dad in Torchwood; even today there are comparatively few actors who’ve spanned both centuries of this series). 


 NEGATIVES - We said in our review of ‘Aliens Of London’ that the fart jokes smacked a little too much of children’s telly and as the first script Russell wrote for the new series seemed pitched at more of a children’s than a family audience. There are notably less fart jokes here (and less opportunities for Margaret Slitheen to undress from her human bodysuit) but these seem even more out of place somehow in what’s one of the series’ more grown-up scripts. I mean, the closest to this story in the ‘old’ Dr Who canon is ‘Face Of Evil’ and you can’t imagine Xoanon crowing ‘Who am I?!? You are the evil one Dr. Not least because you’ve taught me, a computer, how to fart!’ 


 BEST QUOTE: Margaret Slitheen: ‘This is persecution. Why can't you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?’ Doctor: ‘You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet’. Margaret Slitheen: ‘Apart from that!’ 


 Previous ‘The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances’ next ‘Bad Wolf/The Parting Of The Ways’

Tuesday, 29 August 2023

The Face Of Evil: Ranking - 82

           The Face Of Evil

(Season 14, Dr 4 with Leela, 1-22/1/1977, producer: Phillip Hinchcliffe, script editor: Robert Holmes, writer: Chris Boucher, director: Pennant Roberts)

Rank: 82

   'Well then Leela, what do you think of this mountain that your ancestors carved then eh? Just like back home for you. That George Washington you know,  very good kisser, never told a lie. Well except when we got home that night as I recall. Next to him is Thomas Jefferson - I took him down the Haight Ashbury in 1967 and turned him on to the Jefferson Airplane. He was tripping acid when he signed the American Declaration of Independence you know! I went out shooting with old Teddy Roosevelt. Actually it was the Brigadier in a fur coat but never mind. And then there's Abraham Lincoln. I'll show you his Gettysburg address on the space-time visualiser sometime. Awful picture though doesn't look a thing like him...'






This is one of the cleverest scripts of the entire 20th century run, all the more so given that it plays with the sort of tired old ideas we’ve seen in Dr Who dozens of times before: there’s a planet in the future that’s run by a mysterious force that turns out to be a computer, while the savage life we meet on this planet turn out to be a colony of humans in a few millennia’s time who’ve reverted back to their primal ways because they’ve forgotten how to work it. This is yet another possession story in an era full of them. If you’ve come to this story after the Hartnell and Troughton eras you’re permitted to start yawning now. Only (spoilers) the possession is technological and Xoanon the computer isn’t like any we’ve seen before: it’s having a bit of a breakdown and not in a ‘gee I wish there was a pc world on this planet so I could fix my spark plugs’ way either but by actually going downright raving bonkers. As a lot of computers tend to do to be fair, only this one happens to be running the planet, even when everyone has forgotten what it is, which is a bit of a problem when the locals are the things it starts de-fragging. And what causes this breakdown? The repairman. Who happens to be The Doctor. By accident. In an unseen but very Dr Who-sounding story in an attempt to help the local population re-discover their lost knowledge – only the Doctor forget to remove his ‘dataprint’ from the computer, leading it to think that it actually is the Doctor and causing it to develop a split personality (the novelisation says this happened the first time this Doctor took off in the Tardis in ‘Robot’ when he was still a bit manic, well OK a lot manic, which might be why he didn’t do a thorough enough job and by the look of things can’t remember ever turning up here before. Unless somehow he first turned up on this un-named planet in a different body and the computer knows to update its depiction of him depending on what age he must be now. After all, this meddling without having thought of the consequences sounds a lot like something the 1st Doctor might have done in the days before we met him and might explain why it was so longer the Doctor is struggling to place being here. No? Oh well, please yourselves). 


In many ways this is the most 21st century of all Dr Who plots: we’ve had computers in Who since the 1960s but they tend to be distant, colossal, impenetrable unknowable, doing the routine things humans can’t do, driven by tape machines and used for nefarious purposes by an Earthbound baddy. This one is almost human –well, timelord anyway – and as to err is to be human it’s no wonder he’s got his wires a bit crossed. Xoanon doesn’t just have one identity but two: he’s remained part computer but he also had the Doctor’s personality imprinted on his datacore, so that he’s torn in two: a machine that sees things absolute and a personality that, perhaps of all the Doctors, is mercurial and malleable. Chris Boucher’s debut script for the series feels much more like how we’ve come to think of computers in the present day, as something that could both do great harm and great good: Xoanon runs the entire planet and was doing it nicely until it went wrong, when it starts developing a mind of its own and killing people off, while given his power it’s not a simple case of turning him off and on again. He’s a person now and regrettably people don’t come with a re-set button: we just have to muddle on through with the best of what we’ve got. For Xoanon being ‘alive’ isn’t easy. He’s used to the safety of numbers, of binary code, of things either being one thing or another. Even as a futuristic impossibly brilliant technological creation he simply hasn’t got the bandwith to cope with all of the feelings that come with being alive and especially all the conflicts. For who we are is a shimmering, ever-changing state that changes depending what you learn and who you’re with and how you interact with them, updating second by second as your view of the world and your part in it changes (it might be significant that the split personality of Xoanon features a father, a mother and a child: we are different things to each of these people depending on their needs and life experience, however much we think we’re essentially the same: the people who potty-trained you, for instance, will never view you the same way as the people you potty-trained even though you stay just as clever as you always were with many of the same mannerisms your whole life). Being alive is a bundle of contradictions and paradoxes, of grey areas in between the black and white thinking that computers enjoy. The Doctor tells Leela in episode one to ‘never be certain of anything’ (a sentence rather undercut by his need to have her trust him a couple of episodes later but no matter): The Doctor knows that everything on this un-named planet is a lie. But computers can’t tell lies and they have to be certain in order for their programmes to run. The Doctor also says, in the story’s most quoted speech, that ‘very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alters their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit the views, which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering’ (It’s a wonder there isn’t a picture of Donald Trump on the mountain alongside him as the ‘evil one’). Little does he know about Xoanon when he says it but Xoanon is this way of thinking precisely: it cannot compute being wrong so instead it computed everyone around it as being wrong. Xoanon is neither powerful nor stupid really though, just ill with schizophrenia, that impulse to believe in two separate contradictory statements, of being different things in different situations. Only Xoanon literally controls life on this planet, being in charge of the life support systems, dividing the human population on this planet as if they were binary code and leading them to grow up resenting and hating each other even though – in s shock twist (spoilers) - they turn out to be one and the same all along. 


 It’s the single best use of computers in the series because it’s so original and unexpected, a long way ahead of where the technology was at the time and far more in keeping with how we see man’s greatest technological friend today in our age of AI and sophisticated programming. Usually in Dr Who the computers go wrong and the Doctor has to solve them, but in this story it’s his solution that’s gone wrong and the computer isn’t really the baddy at all. Back in the 1960s and 1970s the big fear with computers was that they would replace us and make humanity redundant as it did all our jobs for us and a lot of stories like ‘The War Machines’ and ‘The Green Death’ built on this, making computers that are scarily human-like, taking on all our bad character traits like jealousy, ego and anger. But ‘Face Of Evil’ feels more like a story from now, where computers become smarter than us, as smart as a timelord, so smart we don’t know how to turn them off. It’s at one with series like ‘Humans’ and ‘Intelligence’ from recent TV history where computers don’t just allow humans to turn on humans but where they run the show with a callousness and efficiency that puts our worst dictators to shame. There’s no scarier threat than one that thinks you’re just a bunch of binary code and which wasn’t born to cope with all the subtleties that come from being a person, all the contradictions and paradoxes involved in being alive and which can’t show mercy or give second chances and whose only response to the contradictions of everyday life is to keep people apart, creating divisions in this society that huge ramifications for all of them. It’s not for nothing that this story was submitted with the title ‘The Day God Went Mad’, a title the production team would never have allowed out for reasons of being both controversial and out of keeping with their set format (it’s hard to imagine a target novelisation with the subtitle ‘Dr Who and The Day God Went Mad’ for instance). However it’s a fitting one: for the Sevateem and Tesh alike their computer is their God, with the same mercurial temper that changes with the wind, utter control over all life and a background that’s impossible for the locals to understand. 


 This unusual script was commissioned in an unusual way too, with Boucher sending in a script to the production team unsolicited: not this one but a different script, lost to time. This might seem to outsiders like an obvious thing for a writer to do but maybe only three Who writers ever did it that way: one of them was Andrew Smith, who shocked the production team as an eighteen year old when he came u with ‘Full Circle’ and the other was Robert Holmes, who tweaked his submission ‘The Krotons’ from his original intended for the series ‘Out Of The Unknown’ and with perfect timing it landed on Terrance Dicks’ mat just when he was low on stories. Holmes was by 1977 working as script editor himself and it might have struck him that he’d found just such a writer who had been in his shoes a decade or so earlier, so he tried Boucher out on a script that’s very similar all round, with a mad computer whose divided its planet into two warring tribes (‘Face Of Evil’ is, in many ways, ‘The Krotons’ ‘cubed’, from the blocky designs on down!) Originally called ‘The prime Directive’, Boucher found while writing the script that it was developing almost a mind of its own – a bit like Xoanon – and was turning into a very different story, more of a philosophical story than the runaround he’d been commissioned to write. Thankfully Holmes saw what he was doing and rather than make him change it, as a lesser script editor might have done, encouraged him to see the idea through to the end. 


 The idea of the story having implications for the Doctor and caused by his visit some time before came from producer Phillip Hinchcliffe who was becoming worried that the Doctor was too infallible, with no uncertainty as to whether he might come out of a story on top. ‘Face Of Evil’ is thus the first story since ‘Planet Of The Spiders’ to really ask questions about the Doctor’s morals and why he goes about the universe trying to save it, more often than not while leaving before anything better can be put in its place and hoping the people left behind are smart and kind enough to follow his example while he moves on to something more ‘exciting’. In many ways the 4th regeneration of the Dr is the most blasé: he swans in, topples empires he thinks are ‘wrong’ and then leaves again with a swish of his scarf but in this story, for pretty much the first time, there are consequences to his actions. Even though everything he did both before and during this story was designed to be for the greater good, inevitably somewhere sometime that slapdash approach is going to cause harm. The modern series has tried this a few times now (notably ‘Waters Of Mars’), suggesting that he too is fallible and can get carried away with his own brilliance. In another sense that title isn’t just about Xoanon; it suggests that the Doctor, too, is a ‘God’ that can ‘go mad’, one that through his interactions with so any different civilisations has perhaps more universal influence than anyone and wonders what would happen if he did. It’s unusual indeed to see this Dr, whose usually so many quadzillions of steps ahead of everyone, look guilty and admit he might have got something wrong (I’ve always thought the scenes where this works so well and gives Tom Baker a new emotion to play with gave in-coming producer Graham Williams the idea of adding Romana, who is always proving the Dr ‘wrong’). 


 There are a few interesting pot-shots at religion here too: both sides have ‘faith’ in something that really happened, but not in anything like the way they think it did, a case of science being turned through the Chinese whispers of the centuries into blind worship. It turns out that the people we meet here are the descendents of Earth explorers who crashed into an unknown and still un-named planet generations ago – we don’t know exactly how long but it’s long enough for the history of their mission to have been lost in the mists of time, twisted and re-worded and adapted into a entirely different history. Boucher was a committed atheist who thought the Bible was a misinterpretation of events that had really happened, distorted by time, much like what happens here. The word ‘xoanon’ in fact comes from the Ancient Greeks where it was used as a word for as ‘fake’ God, a representation generally carved out of wood that was thought to be imbued with special Godlike powers even though it had none of its own. Xoanon lives (if that’s the right word for a half sentient computer) in a ship marked ‘survey team’, only nobody on this planet can remember what the words ‘survey team’ means, so they have concocted their own history based on things they half-understand. They’ve divided up into two tribes: the technological experts (the ‘Teshnishians’ in local speak, the tribes having forgotten what the word really was and what it means) and the survey team (‘Sevateem’ in local speak), who rejected the technology to forge out a new home for themselves in the local jungle. The story goes that when Xoanon went mad and blocked entry to the ship the survey team were outside and the technicians inside, trying repairs, when the Doctor showed up to give a hand, both sides devolving once their technology is beyond repair. We’ve had lots of savage tribes in Who before and indeed this whole plot is not new (see, umm, ‘The Savages’ for a simpler take on it and yet another story about two polar opposites at each other’s throats learning they’re secretly one and the same). Only Boucher is smarter than most. He doesn’t write the Sevateem or the Tesh as being stupid, just savage and superstitious; the two tribes are every bit as clever as each other, its just that this one have developed more of their primal instincts as befits a tribe of hunters and the Tesh’s have more logic. Everyone on this planet ruled by computer have, ironically enough, eschewed logic in favour of what they need for survival on an ever-changing planet in the wilderness: intuition, a sixth sense that senses danger and which is impossible for a computer to understand: logic is a luxury that comes with civilisation when we’re protected enough to make sure that the local wildlife won’t kill us. Technology is a measure of intelligence in Dr Who across all species, because it means that particular race have conquered the things that might kill them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re any better suited to survival if something goes wrong. Sometimes technology can be a trap, blinding us to where we came from – especially when there’s an error code in the computer left in charge. 


 Where Boucher’s script soars is in the way that he manages to juggle both contradictory points of view, recognising that unlike Xoanon Dr Who audiences can see more than one point of view at a time. While the Tesh and Sevateem are both at each other’s throats over fundamental differences in how to live both views make sense: living in a jungle is hard work but at least you’re freer than living your lives to a computer’s say-so. It’s a shame we don’t see more of the Tesh as potentially they’re the more interesting of the two, having grown up around technology they don’t understand (what did they think was going on this whole time?) Boucher is clearly trying hard to be fair to both sides but clearly likes the Sevateem more: they’re all intriguing characters in their own ways but by far and away the most interesting is Leela, who becomes the new companion. Louise Jameson is excellent from the first and what could have been an irritating thicko becomes a fascinating character whose bright but inexperienced yet always learning, always questioning, always living off her instincts. We start off with Leela rebelling against the law of the land because instinctively she knows it’s wrong and in that regard she’s very much like the Doctor, courageous and moral and bright, just with less experience. Leela is very different: we’ve had no end of orphans in Dr Who before and since but only Leela witnesses her own kin die in the opening episode and because of her own defiance of the tribe (though if Leela is troubled by this she’s learned not to show it). Boucher wasn’t asked to write a companion for more than just one story – like the David Tennant specials of 2009 there was meant to be a different one each story – but the production team really liked Leela. Boucher modelled her on Palestinian terrorist Leila Khaled, who came across innocent and glamorous despite being a mass murderer and how contradictory Boucher found those two aspects of her personality (no wonder Dalek creator Terry Nation poached Boucher for the ‘terrorists as our heroes’ series Blake’s 7 as this ability to juggle multiple viewpoints is fundamental to that series). Louise Jameson nails a tricky part from the first, capturing the contradictions of a character whose both incredibly pure (with no idea of science or how the universe really works) but also a true warrior, happy to kill in defence or for a greater cause. Jameson says she got a lot of Leela’s personality from watching a neighbour’s child who lived up the stairs from her and the way she would eye Louise suspiciously like an old man before realising she was ‘safe’ and openly being her boisterous self in front of her; another source was Louise’s pet dog Bosie who would sense danger by cocking her head to one side and listening, a mannerism Louise adopted for Leela; the end of this story when she wanders inside the Tardis and the Doctor debates about keeping her is exactly like he’s adopted a stray canine). It’s a sad fact of ‘old’ Who that with so many writers and not enough time to tweak scripts companions tend to all end up the same eventually and that any character development they make in one story is forgotten by the next but Leela does better than any character till Ace: she stays fundamentally the same intuitive warrior whose part animal, always on the alert for danger and willing to fight, yet also learns knowledge along the way. It helps considerably that Boucher writes three of her scripts including the next one ‘Robots Of Death’ so that future writers have a much better understanding of her than some companions down the years. She’s the perfect companion for the Hinchcliffe years that were a similar mix of innocence and knowingness, more child-orientated in some ways and more violent in others – alas she won’t be allowed to be quite the same in the Graham Williams era when the BBC demand the series get softer and more peaceful. 


 Poor Louise went through hell in this part in a highly revealing costume (that was originally even more revealing, as just a leather cat suit before the leather straps at the front were added), with painful contact lenses that changed her blue eyes brown (because it made her look more like a ‘savage’ apparently, though I’m not at all sure why), a liberal layering of dirt and months of jibes from salivating technicians (no wonder Leela hates the Tesh). That scene when Leela has to run past the invisible monsters was particularly difficult: the effects were on wires that could have garrotted her if she’d memorised her steps wrong and the contact lenses meant she couldn’t see properly where she was going. That wasn’t the half of it though: lots of people working on the series made cracks about her revealing costume, the most infamous a lighting director on this story who asked to stay on for the rest of the series because ‘I wouldn’t mind lighting that for the next six months!’ So much for progress and civilisation: it doesn’t take a mad computer to take us back to the dark ages and it really wasn’t that long ago. The ‘old’ team were far more welcoming: by chance Louise had tickets for a play Elisabeth Sladen was starring in the day after learning she got the job and nervously went backstage to say ‘hello’ – Elisabeth was due at TV centre the week of recording and left Louise lots of ‘best wishes’ messages and cards with the BBC staff to pass on for her first week.


 Though they clashed a lot in the recording of this and most future stories (mostly because Tom wanted to work on his own without a companion and thought the production team were ignoring his suggestions) Louise also brings out the best in Tom Baker: his Doctor is less flippant in this story (though still often very funny) and his horror at realising he’s been the cause of the events in the second half brings out an earnest wisftulness we won’t see again till his closing trilogy. Tom got few chances to be subtle during his seven years as the Dr but he’s actually surprisingly good at it when the script demands it and this script demands much more from him than most; he also re-wrote perhaps the best scene where he threatens the Sevateem, by threatening them with a ‘deadly jelly baby’ rather than use violence (he probably meant the green ones – they never did taste very nice. Leela’s comment: ‘They say the evil one eats babies!’) There’s another very ‘Doctory’ scene where he fools the local monsters who work on vibrations with an alarm clock he just happens to have in his pockets: this gag appears to be in the original script but I would happily believe that this was a Tom Bakerism too. Given that this is the period when Tom Baker was taking over it might also be that this was a message to the actor that he wasn’t infallible either, though if so it’s a shame that the story ends with the Doctor having apparently learned nothing (‘Are you always right?’ asks Leela just before they leave. ‘Invariably’ he replies). Notably the Doctor never tries to put things right by going back in time and fixing it: he treats the ‘mistake’ as if it’s a fixed point even though he only did at most a century or so ago (that’s peanuts by Dr Who standards!) 


Those monsters are perhaps the weakest link in the story, yet more invisible beings to save on budget that live on the other side of a barrier (a sort of firewall, only because this is Dr Who it’s carved out of stone and the two halves are taking place a few seconds apart in time). While the idea of having two separate things co-existing uneasily on a planet is very in keeping with a script about binary code versus schizophrenia it’s never fully explained how that barrier got there and why. The monsters also seem like they’re there purely because a computer doesn’t give the characters in ‘The Face Of Evil’ much to face off against. Equally poor are the Horda, a cross between giant maggots and cybermats that crawl around in a way that’s meant to be creepy but just looks a bit silly (one of them at the front had a motor inside so they could move independently but the rest are all too visibly moved by wires). It doesn’t seem much of a threat for hardened warriors like Leela or her father to be thrown into a pit of them. In time we’ll see Leela defeat killer robots, gigantic killer slugs, killer Rutans, killer Sontarons and killer baking foil, so insects shouldn’t be that much of a concern for her really. ‘Horda’ is an interesting choice of word and we’ve seen already how much research Boucher did for his character names; it means ‘mob’ in Polish. Could it be that the Horda are more a symbolic monster? Boucher knows that in some ancient past when religious leaders were more jumpy he’d have been the first to be thrown in a pit for questioning the way everything is run and Leela and her father are basically tried by committee here without a chance to speak out what they believe: they’re killed by mob mentality that you have to fit to a set way of life as much as anything, the human race as inflexible in its own way as a computer that thinks in binary code. Alas, though, if that was the intention it gets a bit lost on screen.


 It’s also a bit wordy without a lot of action till the last episode – oddly so given that most of the story revolves around two bloodthirsty tribes out to kill each other; the most ‘savage’ thing we see anybody actually do in this story is sit around debating the death penalty. It’s harder, too, to get a handle on this world and how it works than Dr Who’s very best planets – an inevitable consequence of the fact that we’re so many generations on that everyone’s forgotten their origins, but its a shame there’s never a scene where the Dr recalls landing there in flashback and talking about what it was like or looking through his 500-year-diary and showing us what it was like last time he was there. Doing jungle sets in brightly-lit colour is a whole lot harder than in black-and-white and this isn’t one of the more convincing ones - you never quite lose the feeling that you’re watching actors walking round a set. If I was going to be mean as well I’d point out that both Tesh and Sevateem look a pretty weedy bunch who more closely resemble goggle-eyes actors and extras looking uncomfortable half-naked and clearly working out what angry thing they’re going to say to their agent for getting them on this job next tea-break, not people hardened to living in the wilderness their whole lives. The costumes raise a few questions all round actually: where did they get the leather from? There’s no animal life on this planet that we see, unless they’ve killed them all off but the leather tunics look new. Wouldn’t they be more likely to be wrapped in twigs and leaves? (there’s no end of foliage on this planet after all). Although given how hot this planet appears to be its maybe a bit strange they’re wearing clothes at all – not that they could possibly have put that on TV at a Saturday teatime, but it’s not like a writer as smart as Boucher and script editor as smart as Holmes not to fit in an explanatory comment somewhere along the line. 


 Forget the body though, on more than the face of it ‘Face Of Evil’ has a lot going for it. There are lots of candidates around for Dr Who’s scariest moment/cliffhanger but one of the best ones comes at the end of episode three when the computer is having the sort of existential crisis computers should never have and screaming at the Dr in a child’s voice ‘Who am I?!’ Technologically for 1977 standards it’s a triumph and never more than the scene of the Doctor-Xoanon talking to himself, recorded using Tom’s face against black drapes, that footage re-recorded onto a video camera to be coloured and distorted, then played back to three monitors surrounding the set and recorded live with Tom Baker’s response. The lad, Anthony Freise, was a pupil in the class of director Pennant Roberts’ wife’s and he’s perfect, menacing and cute all at once; the other voices were ‘borrowed’ from actors then in rehearsals for ‘Robots Of Death’ Pamela Salem (Toos) and Rob Edwards (Chub). Even I’ve never had a computer breakdown quite like this (and believe me, my computers have found a lot of creative ways to break down over the years); I dread to think what Xoanon would have done with windows updates. That’s the moment that gets all the attention but the first cliffhanger is pretty thrilling too, as after ten minutes of people calling him ‘the evil one’ the Doctor sees a carving of his face, Mount Rushmore style, into the local cliff (a literal cliffhanger and another Hinchcliffe suggestion; despite the Doctor’s quip about not getting his nose or eyebrows quite right it’s taken from a plaster model of his face). It’s a clever twist that the story is solved by having the Doctor bridge the two worlds through the bridge in his nose, when his face happens to be the gateway between the two worlds.There’s a highly satisfying ending, too, where the Doctor cures the computer by doing the human equivalent of switching it off and on again, showing it how to integrate multiple personalities without causing harm to itself or anyone else, but it’s a closer run thing than most 4th Dr stories and he very nearly comes a cropper. This is one of those rare DW stories where there’s no baddy really, which makes for such a satisfying change: the computer doesn’t mean to be evil any more than the Doctor meant to make it that way and Xoanon’s attempts to destroy the Doctor come out of rage that his presence challenges its world view, not because it wants to rule this un-named world. 


The result is a triumph, one of the most original stories Dr Who ever did: with practically every other story you can point to some source material somewhere (nearly always a combination of Nigel Kneale, H G Wells and Isaac Asimov, with a dash of John Wyndham, Arthur C Clarke, Robert Heinlein and ‘Pathfinders In Space’ for variation). This is a rare story that doesn’t have any of that. Yes you could point to a few earlier stories, even a few earlier Dr Who stories, about a computer running a planet that goes wrong, ven a Bob Shaw story about a planet ruled by a being named Xoanon, but that’s only the starting point for a story that adds whole layers of identity and existential crises. It’s all the more impressive for coming at the tail end of the Hinchcliffe era that, for all its brilliance, was more about recycling than originality. I’ve always maintained that Dr Who is one of the smartest series around: not necessarily every week, not necessarily even in what’s presented on screen, but the way it’s format is so elastic that you learn a little bit about a lot of things if you watch it for long enough. It’s the sort of series where most showrunners and script editors throw ideas at you that you can either ignore while people run around doing things and be quite happy or can go away and look up afterwards, falling into a rabbit-hole of research following the breadcrumbs the authors have left for you. Quite often that’s with science, sometimes that’s with history, occasionally that’s with some other thing you might not have thought about regarding mathematics or geography or religion or literature or even home economics. My favourite Who stories though are the sort of things you can’t look up in books but which make you think all the same, about philosophy and bigger concepts about what it means to be alive and few stories are as strong in that regard as ‘The Face Of Evil’, a story about how you can be alive without having a face and how there might not be such a thing as evil, only perspective and mental illness. What seems, on the face of it, to be just another Dr Who story about jungles and computers ends up being one of the most intelligent and sophisticated Who stories of them all. 


 POSITIVES + Of all the clever things in this story one of the cleverest might just be the title. You spend the whole story expecting to see a monster with a face of such horror they even refer to it in name, which would after all be more in keeping with other Who plots, but no – it refers to the Doctor’s face, as carved into a Mount Rushmore style mountain, which Xoanon takes to be its evil side. On the face of it the face isn’t evil at all (and we know the Dr too well to assume that) but for the people of this world its symbolic of everything that went wrong, the ‘face’ of all the problems in this world. Even more than that it’s about how a face is evil if it only points one way: the Doctor’s face only peers out one way and is blind to the barrier on the other side and you can’t be a fair and powerful ruler if you haven’t got all your facts straight, perhaps especially if you’re a computer. And even more on top of that part of the problem of the story is that Xoanon has no separate personality, no body and no ‘face’ that exists that’s his because he’s everywhere inside the spaceship – and by having the Doctor’s identity inside him he desperately craves one even though he fears it, a ‘face’ that means he has a separate self, which it thinks is ‘evil’. 


 NEGATIVES - The ending needs the two tribes to come together for better reason than just the Doctor’s say-so (especially as he flipping caused the problem in the first place) – joining together to save everyone from a common foe rather than a mad computer whose been put right through the usual jiggery-pokery might have been the way to go, especially in a script that’s all about coming together despite your differences and contradictions. The last episode feels a lot more rushed than the rest, perhaps because by then Boucher has already been given the commission for ‘Robots Of Death’ (Holmes wasn’t used to his writers – shock horror! – getting their scripts in on time!) 


 BEST QUOTE: ‘Killing me is going to help you. It’s not going to do me much good either!’ 


 Previous ‘The Deadly Assassin’ next ‘The Robots Of Death’

Monday, 28 August 2023

Love and Monsters: Ranking - 83

                   Love and Monsters

(Series 2, Dr 10 with Rose, 17/6/2006, showrunner: Russell T Davies, writer: Russell T Davies, director: Dan Zeff) 

Rank: 83

   'There we were, innocently enjoying our favourite TV programme as a bit of light relief and escapism and then the Abzorbaloff's cousin, Writealoff, came along and started making it out to be this big and complex series full of hidden meanings. Oh no, look at that - he's just absorbed all my time as I sit here reading yet another review...




 


 

Yesterday we looked at what might well be the most misunderstood and maligned story of 20th century Dr Who  (‘The Web Planet’); today it’s the turn of its equivalent in the 21st century, another story with good intentions at a time in its existence when Dr Who was safe and comfortable enough for the people making it to experiment, hampered by ongoing problems with time and money. They’re Ergons of a feather these two stories, the start of a long slow fall from grace when the public stopped thinking of Dr Who as a programme that could do anything and instead became a programme that had to do certain things, to stay within set parameters, where all that bravery and ambition felt out of place with the rest of the era and ended up being remembered for a slightly dodgy performance in a slightly dodgy costume, a story as adult as any Dr Who made that ended up looking like the most juvenile of children’s television. Say ‘Love and Monsters’ to most fans and they’ll groan: this is a story famous for all the worst reasons: as the first story (since 1965 anyway) that the Doctor – the whole point of the show for a lot of the audience – is barely in, which features love-him-or-loathe-him comedian Peter Kay as the only monster ever to be designed by a child (in a Blue Peter competition – he joked on set he was ‘Green Peter’!) and which is the one story in the Dr Who canon that’s less about giving fans something to think about so much as thinking about the fans themselves (many simply didn’t get the joke and quite a few of the ones who did realise what this story was really about didn’t like having the mickey taken out of them). Yes it looks silly at times, an easy target for those who were looking for excuses to take shots at a series that had been remarkably consistent across its first two years. But if you can look past how it turned out, to the ambition with which ‘Love and Monsters’ was written and how needlessly brave it is, in an era when Russell T Davies could have got away with re-hashing the same old script over and over, then there is much to love about ‘Love and Monsters’. Maybe even the monster itself.



Yes, a monster designed by a nine-year-old popping up in an actual serious scifi programme: what other programme would ever do that? What next, toddlers drawing Captain Kirk? Space babies spit-painting ‘Battlestar Galactica’? Infants marking ‘X’ on an ‘X Files’ design? The knives were out before this episode even aired and many fans thought Russell had lost the plot. But Dr Who is a special series in that’ it really is for everyone, of any age, and in a way it was inevitable. People forgot once he became the BBC’s go-to heavyweight dramatist, someone so popular the BBC even trusted him to bring Dr Who back from the dead when they’d largely buried it themselves and tried to forget about it, but Russell T started his career on children’s television. Specifically the series ‘Why Don’t You?’ (short for ‘Why Don’t You Switch Off Your Television And Do Something Less Boring Instead?’ Which is a brave tagline for a programme that wanted people to actually watch it!) A silly little series about making things out of sticky-back plastic with little features on how everyday items worked that was like a cross between ‘How 2’ and ‘The One Show’ (and something your parents were quite happy for kiddies to watch), in Russell’s hands it had been turned into a catch-all drama about all the things that really matter to children: aliens, spies, pirates, smugglers, animals, early computers, friendship, romance, evil teachers, basically it’s an Enid Blyton book for the 1970s-1990s come alive (and exactly the sort of thing your parents worried about you watching). In one of the episodes the children club together to form a group named ‘LINDA’, just like the one in ‘Love and Monsters’ (only it’s the Liverpool Investigation ‘n’ Detective Agency’, not London). The programme finally died out in 1995 a few years after Russell left and after an impressive twenty-two year run. After that Russell moved on, making highly adult dramas often based on his own experiences as a gay man growing up after the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, but you can never take away your roots and they peep out every so often, especially during his first batch of Who scripts which try rather harder than his later ones to be child-friendly and feel very like his ‘Why Don’t You?’ dramas (the burping wheely bin of ‘Rose’ and the farting Slitheens of ‘Aliens Of London/WW3’).



The closest programme to ‘Why Don’t You?’ still on the air by 2006 was ‘Blue Peter’, the children’s programme that had been going even longer than Dr Who and always had close links to it – not least sharing the same set for much of their run and giving Peter Purves a career a year after getting the part as companion Steven. The ‘classic’ Dr Who DVDs are full of extras featuring Jon Pertwee popping in with his Whomobile, John Noakes introducing Blue peter dog Shep to K9 and one story (‘Robot’) was even given a sneak preview thanks to a technician strike that meant an edition of ‘Blue Peter’ came from the set of ‘Robot’. Perhaps most thrilling of all was in 1967 when, for the one and only time in the show’s history, fans were invited to take part in a competition to design a monster judged by the Doctor himself, with Patrick Troughton making one of his very few appearances to promote the programme (sadly it doesn’t survive but the pictures do with ‘Aqua Man’ a worthy winner – and way better than the Fish People of ‘The Underwater Menace’ that probably inspired it! An appearance of Patrick’s that does survive, for Pebble Mill and ‘The Five Doctors’ has him so miserable and confused by the questions you can see why he didn’t do many things like this!) To think: a Dr Who fan got to make something that Dr Who himself saw! Actually made, in the studio, by the Who model team! That’s so exciting and now, with Dr Who gaining a whole new children’s audience, it seemed an obvious thing to do: as a former producer of a children’s TV programme Russell also knew exactly how well it would work for both shows as a bit of extra publicity. Only being Russell he wasn’t just going to have David Tennant help judge the competition and meet the star, no – with the expense of making it he was going to have the monster appear in an actual programme. What an even bigger thrill for all the children watching – the thought that their creations could end up in an actual programme one day, hurrah!



A panel was quickly put together, with Davies and Tennant along with producer Phil Collinson, with nine-year-old William Grantham winning the under 10 category with ‘The Abzorbaloff’  (Tennant preferred a football monster put together by the under 7s category and joked that, as it was him announcing the result live on air he’d just go with his favourite and scupper Davies’ carefully written story!) You can see why Davies would have gone with the monster. On the one hand it’s very like The Slitheen being big and able to take over other people, so much so that they ended up from the ‘sister’ planet’ Clom (close enough to stroke the creator’s ego anyway). But on the other hand it’s a brilliantly original design perfectly in keeping with Who: monsters that took over humans and mentally absorbed are two a penny in Dr Who but this one physically absorbed them: a logical extension of the Slitheen and Zygons both, with lots of room for drama and horror and everything you need in a good monster. He’s the logical result of a series that’s spent 44 years by this point telling us that possession and being manipulated by a baddy to be nasty to good people is perhaps the single most horrific thing that can happen to you (after extermination anyway). The striking appearance, of a Mohican wig over a green scaly body, was also very different to anything that had seen before. It somehow looked both the sort of thing that was obviously made by a child rather than a grown-up and the sort of thing any adult monster designer would be pleased to come up with, a great idea slightly let down by the execution. Sadly budget meant they had to ignore Grantham’s notes that the monster was ‘as  big as a double-decker bus’ but then there isn’t a Dr Who monster from the Daleks down that wasn’t changed from the design due to restrictions of budget. 


More of a problem is that, in order to have something physical to show off on ‘Blue Peter’, the Abzorbaloff was a man in a suit rather than a CGI special effect, which meant that it harked back a little too uncomfortably to the days of old when monsters would loom and lumber, rather than chase and pounce. The casting of cuddly comic Peter Kay doesn’t quite chime with the sinister looking chap with the mohican haircut either: Kay was one of the biggest names in show business in 2006 and Russell couldn’t believe his luck when he was contacted during the 2005 series by the star himself offering his congratulations and asking to be in it. Only, unlike the John Nathan-Turner it was hard to simply put him in as a character and have people forget who it really was: clearly Kay had to be in a ‘special’ one-off story, like say the one with the one-off monster? It’s a logical thought, but wrong: Peter Kay isn’t menacing enough s human or monster and as a comedian rather than an actor per se (only used to speaking lines he’d written himself, even when other characters similar to himself) isn’t fully absorbed by the role, ironically enough. That’s where a lot of ‘Love and Monsters’ poor reputation comes from: you can never rid yourself of the thought that you’re just watching comedian Peter Kay in a fat suit. In other words I can see why a lot of newer fans were disappointed in a rare monster they felt they could easily outrun and why even some of the older ones chuckled that they didn’t have children’s competition winners making it to TV in their day back when Who was ‘proper’, with the Abzorbaloff’ still used as an example of Who at its silliest. However I can also see it from another point of view: Dr Who is a series that was always meant to inspire the next generation of creatives, whether it be Terrance Dicks, Robert Holmes and Phillip Hinchcliffe divulging their behinds-the-scenes secrets in books, the target novels or ‘Dr Who Confidential’ showing how TV is made; ‘The Abzorbaloff ticked a lot of the boxes for what Russell wanted Dr Who to do, inspiring children in just the way ‘Why Don’t You?’ once did.



The thing is, if you’re going to design a very different sort of monster that’s a bit like the others then you need a different sort of story to go with them. Luckily there was one that had been on the back-burner for a while, an idea Russell had written with half-an eye to turning it into a comic strip for Dr Who Magazine in 2004 as a sort of consolation prize to fans and to himself if his attempts to get the BBC to bring back Dr Who fell apart. It was the story of an ordinary man who grew up with the backdrop of many events from the ‘old’ series shaping his life: spotting the Skarasen during a childhood holiday in Loch Ness (‘Terror Of The Zygons’), a birthday party in Shoreditch evacuated after a Dalek invasion (‘Remembrance’) and the death of his mum from a plastic daffodil (‘Terror Of The Zygons’). It was a handy way of getting round another problem too, that the production schedule was just too tight. By now Russell was writing his last script for series two (the ‘Army Of Ghosts/Doomsday’ finale having already been written; you can tell because Russell is already thinking ahead to series three, with the first mention of prime minister Harold Saxon coming in the headline of a newspaper Victor Kennedy is reading) and it was becoming clear that the production team and especially the actors were over-stretched. It all stemmed back to Russell’s pitch to the BBC in 2004 where he’d worked out that he was best placed to make thirteen episodes of the show a year – anymore and the filming schedule would just be too relentless. Only he and the BBC hadn’t reckoned on the show’s success and when they came back asking for a yearly Christmas special as well he wasn’t about to turn them down, even though it meant making fourteen episodes a year. The solution? Make two episodes at once, with the Doctor and companion busy on another story (‘The Impossible Planet/Satan’s Pit’ as it happened) with a single day’s filming on this story, what will become known in the fanbase later as a ‘Doctor-lite’ episode. Russell was inspired by his ‘other’ favourite series Buffy The Vampire Slayer (a series which inspires a lot of his era of the show) and an episode named ‘The Zeppo’ from 1999 where Sarah Michelle Gellar was on holiday so her friends got to have fun without her, along with a much loved episode of ‘Star Trek: Next Generation’ ‘Lower Decks’, about the maintenance staff you didn’t often get to see (it later inspired a whole animated series of the things). Dr Who had never done anything like this before (well, only with ‘Mission To The Unknown’ in 1965 and that had Daleks to watch, plus a few episodes with Hartnell or Troughton unconscious while the companions took over) and that was another black mark against this story for many fans. How can you have Dr Who without Dr Who in it?



Well, future Doctor Dr Who will manage quite well (‘Blink’ ’73 Yards’ ‘The Girl Who Waited’ and this story’s close cousin ‘Turn Left’ for starters) but one story had to break the mould and it was this one. Like ‘Turn Left’ the answer is rather clever too: you make it about the Doctor, even in his absence.  Like the comic strip Elton’s life is shaped by events in other stories (all ones written by Russell, note): the Auton invasion of ‘Rose’ (a reconstruction of which looks better now the production team have more confidence in doing things like this), the Sycorax spaceship of ‘The Christmas Invasion’ and the Big Ben smasheroo of ‘Aliens Of London’. He even met the Doctor once, saved from the drooling carnivorish animalistic Hoix (a last minute monster cobbled together out of leftovers that looks quite good but was such an afterthought it didn’t even have a name in the script, till Russell came up with one on the spot in post-production for the end credits) and, like many people touched by the Doctor, its turned Elton’s world upside down. Of course he wants to know and meet likeminded people.  ‘Love and Monsters’ also harks back to an idea Russell had during ‘Rose’ with conspiracy theorist Clive: surely by now the general public would have noticed this mysterious figure who kept appearing and disappearing, with the same name but different faces? So he revived the idea of ‘LINDA’ (which is exactly the sort of daft name a bunch of DW fans would give themselves, a conspiracy group from different walks of life with nothing else in common (though, weirdly most of them from the North) meeting up in London not to talk about Dr Who as such (that would have been a little too meta even for this series) but to discuss ‘The Doctor’ – this mysterious figure who keeps popping up at different points in Earth’s history wearing different faces and who then leaves again, nobody in the general public quite knowing who he is.



However to those of us of a certain age ‘Love and Monsters’ is so much more than that; it’s a love song to fandom, when those of us in real life met up in real life to talk about the Doctor, which was often the only thing we had in common. Especially in the ‘wilderness years’ era when there were no new TV programmes to talk about and for a time not even any videos to watch, just grainy blurry old bootleg footage (much like the shots of the Doctor filmed in different episodes) and we had to amuse ourselves by keeping the flames going in other ways beyond being glued to the TV. It’s a neat analogy: like the Abzorbaloff this series gets under your skin like no other – it’s not the sort of programme you can just forget about when it’s not on anymore and writer Russell T Davies knew that because he was doing exactly the same thing we were, as much a part of the meetings/fan fiction/low budget spin offs and (eventually) internet discussion board worlds as the rest of us. He knows these people: the often shy and awkward people who sat inside alone watching TV all day rather than going down the pub with mates or playing football (now do you see why the soccer monster didn’t win?!) but who had such brilliantly colourful inner lives. I remain amazed, all these years on and having met other communities, what a creative bunch the Who fanbase is: they’re forever writing or drawing or making art films or costumes or even baking Dalek cakes they’ve created themselves (because the two official Who cookbooks are rubbish). They also each have something unique to offer the group, some individual skill or talent that might not impress the average man in the street but to a bunch of creatives is gold-dust: its an old quote of script editor Terrance Dicks that whereas fans of other shows picked up a scifi book to read about other shows like theirs, DW fans read books about everything; being passionate about DW is to be passionate about the world and your place in it in all sorts of ways from history to science to mathematics to languages. Basically they’re the kind of kids who grew up watching ‘Why Don’t You?’ and ‘Blue Peter’ and taking its message that you can spend your life creating nice things to heart. I’m always amazed, too, at how little – past the first hour or two – people actually talk about Dr Who: instead conventions and get-togethers (and even some of the better online discussion boards) are a safe place to spend talking about your own projects or simply chatting about your own life. There’s many a friendship and even a couple of romances that have been fuelled by get-togethers by people who at first had nothing in common except their love of a TV programme. And that’s a great thing: it’s very Dr Who in fact, the Doctor inspiring us to come together and better ourselves. Elton Pope is scarily close to the sort of people I used to meet at Dr Who fan meetings: earnest, clever, funny, lonely, maybe a little obsessive for his and society’s own good but with a wider vocabulary than most because he’s spent his spare time researching his many passionate interests. He’s, ahem, not actually all that different to me, albeit funnier and smarter. 


And the LINDA meetings are spot on for that brand of loud jolliness and quiet melancholy, the sense that life is passing you by and never got to be as good as you thought it would when you were little, so you cling on hard to the version of you that you felt you were at your best, as a hopeful child watching Dr Who dreaming of saving the world (ignoring the fact that you long ago stopped being able to save yourself). I’ve met everyone from LINDA at one meeting or another, the Ursulas (sweet but awkward even more than Elton), Mr Skinner (quiet and flustered but well meaning and with some great anecdotes – if you’re wondering to yourself where you know the voice from actor Simon Greenall got as lucrative gig a decade later playing Orlav, one of the Meerkats in the ‘Compare The Market’ adverts), Bliss (funny and warm but slightly too intense for most people), Bridget (practical and no nonsense but easily overlooked), misfits in usual society but brilliant all. They’re very much a Dr Who group: a collection of people who have nothing obviously in common except being misfits everywhere else, finding it a safe space to delight in being different (like all the best Who fan groups). It’s a welcome part of the best of Russell’s writing: in a few short lines we feel we know these people and they all feel real (just one side note, watch Ursula’s face when Elton is called on to infiltrate Jackie’s flat and she nearly sleeps with him: she’s clearly heartbroken and quietly had the hots for Elton for years, long before the finale, insanely jealous and most upset but trying not to show it). Elton’s ELO (Electric Light Orchestra) obsession, much joked at, also makes perfect sense as a bit of character: they’re precisely the sort of band someone like him would like: hideously uncool but well known enough for other members of LINDA to sing along. They are, you could argue, an analogy for Dr Who: big sellers in thwe 1970s, by the 1980s they were so out of fashion you wouldn’t be caught dead listening to them and by the 1990s they’d been forgotten, until the use of ‘Mr Blue Sky’ on an advert made them a cult all over again in the mid-2000s (just like Dr Who!)



Then into this fun little world comes Victor Kennedy and he spoils all the fun by taking over, setting rules into this delightful anything-goes shambles and turning a bunch of gifted amateurs into hopeless professionals, a readymade workforce to help him track down the Doctor. Soon everyone’s on patrol looking out for any signs of a Tardis and not enjoying it at all. Every fandom has people like this who in a world of obsessives are perhaps a little too obsessive and spoil all the fun, but Russell T gets revenge on all of them by turning them into the monster, taking his cue from Grantham’s memorable design by having a monster who doesn’t absorb people so much as he absorbs their souls and turns them into himself, as equally absorbed and indeed self-absorbed (at least till near the end when he does, indeed, absorb them physically), letting the Doctor get under his skin to the point where he can’t think about anything else and worse making the people around him do the same too. More than a few commentators have speculated if the Abzorbaloff is really a comment on how fannish the series became in the 1980s and whether he’s meant to resemble that era’s most controversial fan ‘consultant’ and go-to rich kid Ian Levine; he was the one whispering in John Nathan-Turner’s ear about continuity and references to old programmes (and had a big hand in ‘Attack Of The Cyberman’ in particular). Many fans saw him as the reason why the programme went downhill and lost touch with the general public leading to the cancellation; others blamed him for the only two projects that actually carried his name on them the K9 and Company theme tune and the ‘Doctor in Distress’ charity single on the cancellation, which did indeed lead to much distress – to be fair Levine is just as embarrassed by it nowadays as everyone else). Even now he’s a divisive figure with online rants against the modern episodes and especially the animations (he has a point there, although his AI-reconstructed missing episodes are an equally bumpy ride for now, with the technology in its infancy – maybe one day though who knows?) Someone like Russell, in charge of his favourite programme, would surely have given thought to how it went ‘wrong’ last time and be keen to avoid the same mistakes after all. If it is Levine though it’s a bit of a cruel joke against someone who, though he has a big mouth (and quite a big tummy) has a big heart as well and did a lot for fandom too (if they’d had the Abzorbaloff returning lots of missing episodes for LINDA to enjoy I might have accepted it as some stories only exist in the archives because Levine physically went and found them for us; Levine is said to have hated this story at first, then got the joke and found it funny).



However I’ve always wondered if Russell was really writing about himself, as his younger self would seen him. On the one hand he brought Dr Who back and made it all about his idea of the show, killing off a lot of that creativity that fans had going for them during the wilderness years by setting a lot of rules that Dr Who now followed, with time wars and new Doctors (its surely no coincidence this is the story with a Blue Peter monster, as if he’s making amends and trying to inspire children to create using Who as a launchpad again rather than stifling it; ‘Totally Dr Who’ which ran parallel with series two feels as if it comes from that worry too). Equally I wonder too if this is Russell as his younger self might see him, after two years of endless work and stress turning what was once a fun hobby into a soul-crushing job of responsibility and weight, as the writing of Dr Who at all hours and becoming obsessed with getting every detail right was turning him into a grumpy ‘monster’ and sucking the joy out of why he fell in love with the show in the first place; he wouldn’t be the first empathetic writer to worry about the continuous creation of believable characters and then abandoning them or even killing them off after an episode or two ‘absorbing’ their life essence too. Neither man is exactly, ahem, thin either though neither are they quite as large as Peter Kay in a fatsuit. Is ‘Love and Monsters’ a reminder, then, that this is still only a programme and not to let it take over his life, to go back to making it fun like it was in the days of fan groups? Some of Davies’ last stories in his first run, tales like ‘Midnight’ and ‘Waters Of Mars’ written to the backdrop of Russell’s partner Andrew Smith growing ill and Russell being too distracted by work to look after him fully at first, will tap right back into that source of doubt. Because you can’t have be fully committed to love if you’re too busy writing about monsters and if your work turns you into one. There are a few jokes sprinkled in apparently at Russell’s expense too: by now comeback Dr Who has been on long enough for everyone to catch on to Russell’s un-pronounceable names: calling this one something as silly as ‘Clom’ when we’re expecting another ‘Raxacofalipatorious’ is a great gag.


‘Love and Monsters’, then, is brilliantly postmodern whoever it’s about: the ultimate self- indulgent story because its about self-indulgent fans. I can see why that would go down badly with the sort of serious fans its laughing at, but for me I love it and can see enough of myself in the LINDA gang to get the joke. In my eyes ‘Love and Monsters’ is a sweet nod of the head from one fan to another that celebrates this show in all its highs and lows like no other episode, a love letter to how this series inspires the best and worst in us depending how we react to it, and that alone makes it special and brilliantly creative. In many ways its the cleverest script Russell T Davies, one of our cleverest writers, ever wrote – very different in its ‘found footage’ style (usually we don’t know who the ‘narrator’ of Dr Who is, but for one story only it’s Elton himself through a webcam, further blurring the line between fantasy and reality, like this is the found ‘Blair Witch Project’ of Dr Who stories) but very Dr Who by showing how extraordinary our ordinary little world can sometimes be, even when the Doctor is barely around at all.  You’re never quite sure how much of Elton’s memories are typical fan hyperbole and how much really happens: it’s only at the end, with Ursula as paving slab, that you realise it was all true. It works really well I think for a one-off: for once, rather than trying to keep up with a Doctor several steps ahead of us, we know more than Elton does, both about who the Doctor is and what Victor Kennedy is up to (I’d love to know if that name was a ‘real’ fan Russell knew – it sounds very unlike his other made up names and the only DW reference is the ‘Kennedy’ who helped steal the Tardis in ‘Evil Of The Daleks’ – though this is the sort of story that would make an obscure reference like that. And then laugh at people like me for thinking of it). Marc Warren is truly excellent in what’s quite a thankless role, getting over the enthusiasm and depression that comes from being a Dr Who fan (his any pregnant pauses to camera while he tries to work out what to say end up saying most of all) while Shirley Henderson takes time out from the Harry Potter franchise to excel as fellow LINDA and blossoming girlfriend Ursula. You come to like both of these characters a lot during the course of this episode and cheering for them as these two lonely misfits fall in love (it’s one of the most realistic portrayals of love ever seen in the series in fact – at least until the horrifying moment she gets absorbed, which ought to be much sadder than it is). The rest of the cast are excellent too, especially Kathryn Drsydale fresh from Runcorn ‘Two Pints Of Lager and A Packet Of Crisps’ (where her co-star was 8th Doctor audio companion Sheridan Smith).  



As said, it’s Peter Kay who isn’t quite right: naturally being a larger than life character anyway he seizes the larger than life concept and tries to run (well, waddle – the biggest problem with the Abzorbaloff costume is when he tries to move in it quickly) with it, but ‘Love and Monsters’ isn’t that sort of a story at all (he calls it his biggest career regret in his autobiography ‘The Sound Of Laughter’, although if it’s anyone’s fault its Russell for casting him in the wrong part). It’s a natural, subtle creature more about the existential horror of being swept up into someone else’s obsession and watching your universe narrow, just when it was beginning to close; not a camp drama about a big ass monster. Now this episode could have worked with a different sort of ‘Abzorbaloff’ and the ‘Abzorbaloff’ as played by Peter Kay could have worked with another script (maybe a Sarah Jane Adventures script more than a Dr Who one; their monsters tended to be painted with broader strokes if only because the show wasn’t really about the monsters at all but the complex characters fighting them), but they can’t possibly both work in the same story as they’re doing different jobs. There are problems too with the tone of this one: half of it is Russell writing with his Blue Peter head on, for children, with lots of juvenile gags adults cringe at, but the other half is for the adults who lived through the wilderness years, with some very adult words. The cringiest and most notorious one is the gag about how Elton and Ursula ‘still have a sex life’ even after she’s been resurrected as a paving slab (a joke that caused many embarrassed parents to have awkward conversations introducing their offspring to the concept of oral sex) which is so at odds with the child-friendly shots of Peter Kay disintegrating you’re disorientated (there’s no way any other writer would be allowed to get away with it and a downside of the modern era, when showrunners have a script editor but don’t really have anyone with any power reading through their scripts and asking to cut bits out: usually Russell doesn’t need one, but it could be argued he goes too far here). Even before the story’s most talked about line though there are others: Ursula teasing Mr Skinner about his ‘little kisses’ with Bridget, Jackie coming on to Elton by spilling wine over his shirt and trying to make him take it off, the really quite horrible scenes of ‘absorption’ (Russell isn’t as immune as Steven Moffat to killing off his characters but he doesn’t generally do it with ones we’ve come to care for as much as this). Even the general sense of loneliness, isolation and despair peculiar to adults (children get lonely too but theirs is the sort of being in a crowd forever surrounded by other children and being told what to do; this is the adult sense of loneliness at realising you don’t have many connections with people in everyday life and have to make an effort to keep in touch with friends who are often too busy, while you wish someone would come along and tell you what to do because you feel stuck: all of LINDA feel it to some extent or other). These scenes are great on their own, but they really don’t belong in the same story as the one with the ‘Scooby Doo/Yellow Submarine’ scene where the Doctor and Hoix are chasing each other down some corridors getting it wrong or the tasteless line ‘tastes like chicken’ after the Abzorbaloff has eaten Ursula (a person we’ve come to care a lot for) or the alien who turns bright green and has a Mohican haircut, a Bolton accent and a ‘field dampener’ walking cane (almost as daft but thankfully less repulsive than the Slitheen’s farting). Usually Russell’s better at balancing the tone so children and adults can watch Dr Who together and both get something out of it – this time both are too busy being enraged by what’s there for the ‘other’ audience. The Abzorbaloff is too rubbery and unbelievable a costume by far. And unlike the other ‘Doctor-lite’ scenes the ones where the Doctor (and Rose) finally appear don’t really add much at all (although it’s fitting that it’s the fanbase LINDA who ‘save’ the day by taking Victor Kennedy with them when they think hard enough and make him explode; although fittingly Russell’s last words written for Rose, at least for two years, are much like her first as she gently asks Elton if he’s alright then gets angry at what he’s been doing to her mum).



In other words yes there are mistakes – unforgivable ones in the eyes of much of the fandom. There’s a lot to  enjoy too though: like ‘The Web Planet’ it’s a terrific idea that survives even past the poor execution, a welcome stab at doing something really brave and really bold and stretching the template of Dr Who to its extremes at a point when it was in danger of getting stale. The second year was the right time to try this sort of thing: the show was falling into just enough of a repetitive cycle to makes you yearn for something to break it but also established and popular enough to, ahem, absorb an episode like this that was always going to be controversial in breaking so many rules. ‘Love and Monsters’ might fall apart and be unwatchable in some scenes (particularly the end) but it’s still a terrific idea, a really brave and ambitious stab at doing something new and a great opportunity to work round the contracted holidays of David Tennant and Billie Piper by having the show be all about them, but through the eyes of other people. While the execution lets down the idea in some places, in others it gets away with more than it has any right to – the shots of LINDA boogieing to ELO, the brief but delightful Dr and Rose cameo, the love story (more natural than most in Who), the video format that makes it look like a youtube documentary a decade or so early. Any fan who hates all the things going for this story is either so new to the series they haven’t come across all the other clichés laughed at in this one yet, don’t know enough past stories where a bad effect scuppers a decent script, haven’t learnt to laugh at themselves or, perhaps, doesn’t know what the heck is really going on and that series like Dr Who can go for metaphors and postmodernism. And maybe that’s Love and Monsters’ biggest problem: every other RTD script can be enjoyed on different levels by different people depending on their levels of interest in the series, but for this one you really do have to be a committed fan who survived the bleak years when the show went missing and see this as more than a story about strangers running away from Peter Kay having a bad hair day. But then why wouldn’t you want to be a committed fan of this series? Just look at how much fun everyone is having, how wonderful and interesting these ‘fans’ are and how good and clever even a supposedly ‘bad’ and ‘stupid’ episode like this one can be. More than perhaps any other story, maybe even ‘The Web Planet’, ‘Love and Monsters’ is the sort of story only a true Dr Who fan could love – because it’s the sort of story only a series like Dr Who would ever try and make us watch, a love letter to a series that’s brilliant even when it’s awful and unlike anything else on television then and now.

Why don’t I go outside do something less boring instead? Because nothing is as exciting or as imaginative – nothing. Even at its most relentlessly ‘normal’ it still ends up being brilliantly weird. Besides, I would get out more but I’ve tried wheeling the telly ouside and taking it on a walk with me and it’s too heavy.   


POSITIVES + Till this point Rose’s mum Jackie has been the butt of all the jokes, the protective mother who can’t see beyond her own hair extensions and doesn’t understand why her daughter would want to run halfway around the universe when there’s a good soap on the telly and oven chips in the freezer. By now, though, Billie Piper has handed in her notice and Russell knows he won’t be able to write for Jackie much longer. So he gives Camille Caduri a parting gift a story told from her point of view that’s about the downside of what being around someone like the Doctor means for the people left behind. In this episode though Jackie becomes a rounded character like never before: she’s not the tough harridan of other episodes but a lonely single mother who doesn’t quite know what to do with her life now her daughter’s not around anymore. It’s Camille’s greatest moment in the series by far as she goes from comedy stereotype to real person, sadly doing her washing in a Laundromat (because Mickey’s not around to fix her washing machine and she can’t afford a new one without Rose’s money) and with the very real detail of keeping the television on all the time because her Powell estate flat is so quiet without her daughter home. You see her living for every last second when Rose gets a rare chance to call home and is forever listening for the Tardis, distracted waiting for Rose’s return. Her sense of outrage, usually a comedy moment used against the Doctor, will have you cheering when she sees through Elton’s attempts to get close to her to find out more about the Doctor, protective of her daughter even if it means giving up her only chance at a lovelife (of course we can also see it from Elton’s point of view: he was asked to do this by Victor Kennedy and it stopped being about ‘the mission’ and more about Jackie once he started talking and found out how much he liked her; why oh why does he hang on to Rose’s picture long after its needed? That’s spying rule #1! But then he’s only meant to be an amateur). This idea of ‘privacy’, of leaving ‘big names’ alone, is another postmodern reference to thefandom too I think, another of the big sea changes in what happened to fandom during the ‘off the air’ years as conventions grew and actors became real people with feelings who could read what you said about them online (rather than fanzines only fans read), no longer just names on the end credits but real people. characteristically protecting Rose with everything she’s got even when she isn’t there. Camille’s acting also makes Marc raise his game and these are his best scenes too (it helped that they knew each other before filming: he even strangles her in an episode of ‘A Touch Of Frost’!)



NEGATIVES - I understand why David Tennant and Billie Piper are barely in this story and I wouldn’t sacrifice a Christmas special for more. However it’s a real shame they couldn’t have had just one more day’s filming: had we seen the Dr nonchalantly rescuing the rest of LINDA and giving us the feeling that everyone in that room (and a lot more people outside it) had been touched by the Doctor too it would have given the episode a much greater scope. Even at the end they don’t really do much at all – yes the Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver to save Ursula (how? And how come the Abzorbaloff even absorbs her glasses?!) but he doesn’t stop the Abzorbaloff as such (and there’s nothing to stop him nipping back in time and go to LINDA undercover to wait for Victor’s first appearance). As it is The Hoix is so easily dispatched you wonder why Elton is in quite as much awe as he is and in her last written scene for two years Rose says barely two lines.



BEST QUOTE: Elton: ‘When you're a kid, they tell you it's all grow up. Get a job. Get married. Get a house. Have a kid, and that's it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better’.



PREQUELS/SEQUELS: The latest of the series two Tardisodes, available for download to your  mobile or to watch on the Dr Who website in the week’s run-up to the episode and officially known as ‘Tardisode 10’, is one of the simplest: Victor Kennedy drumming his fingers and sighing just out of sight when he discovers the LINDA website and looks for information about the Doctor (Elton’s latest message: ‘Whops last updated ages ago, sorry!’) LINDA don’t have an address (‘If you need us you’ll find us!’) but Victor uses his magic walking cane to pinpoint the source of the website, changing into his Abzorbaloff state just long enough to absorb the maid off-camera. Oo-err!



‘Revenge has never tasted so…savoury!’ ‘The Genuine Article’ was one of the last tie-in Dr Who lockdown videos for Valentine’s Day 2021 (how else would Dr Who fans spend the most romantic day of the year eh?!) and rather a sweet one, with a new monster ‘The Krakanord’. This was Hugh Brown’s entry to a second (or is that third given the 1960s Blue Peter one that never made it to screen?) design a Dr Who monster competition which was judged by none other than the winner of the first (or is that second?) Will Grantham, who designed the Abzorbaloff back in 2066 and by 2020 had his own youtube page ‘ChannelPup’. Dominic G Martin really captures the essence of Russell T’s writing and impressionist Jon Culshaw sounds so like Peter Kay I’m amazed it isn’t him, whilst Elliot Crossley is an amazing 10th Doctor. A rare lockdown animation, rather than live video, it’s a funny six minute short with the impressively spiky-haired Doctor arriving in Cardiff in 2009 only to find he’s really inside an Abzorbaloff spaceship. It’s a thrill just to see the Doctor share screentime with the baddy (who turns out to be the Abzorbaloff’s equally Northern dad!) but the script is funny too, the pair trading insults (The Doctor ‘Did you get a bit…self-absorbed?’)  The Krakanord is, quite literally, a bug in the machine and one that turns on its ‘master’ after three months of being fed on ‘nothing but baked beans and stale Wheat biscuits’, something the children of lockdown would have appreciated only too well. The video goes a bit downhill in the second half but it’s good fun and well worth a watch. Maybe in 2036 we can have a third (or is that fourth?) competition judged by Hugh?    


The Legend Of Ruby Sunday/Empire Of Death: Ranking - N/A (but #130ish)

  “The Legend Of Ruby Sunday/The Empire Of Death”(15 th Dr, 2024) (Series 14/1A episode 7, Dr 15 with Ruby and Mel, 15-22/6/2024, showr...